the back door

crafty fun

2012-01-21T19:06:00.003-05:00

so last night this little girl decided she wanted to learn to sew. well, i'm not an overly patient teacher, but hey, why not? she was very patient as i got my work done this morning. then after coming in from playing outside we sat down to get to work. i quickly discovered it was more of her wanting me to sew something for her:) i whipped up a pillow case shirt for her out of an old one i had in my stash. i need to find a ribbon that matches but it is a very vintage cute shirt:) and no, i didn't get a picture of that.

but while i was sewing the shirt, i set her to work on cutting out hearts. she was very diligent for about 7 hearts. then i cut a few, then she cut a few. i had been inspired here ( i am pretty sure if we met in real life we would be instant friends - but for now i just pretend that she is my real life friend!) to put something like this together. i sewed them all together and fell in love!!! and yes, i already have it hanging up!

then i got my craft groove on and whipped up these puppies. i'd been wanting to make the letters every since my dear friend told me about the ones she made her girlies. an empty rice krispy box called out to me from the recycling and the yarn was begging to be used. the hoop? well, i want to paint it a fun color, but i found this scrap fabric and stuck it in there. i want to do several in a variety of colors and fabric for the young lady's wall!

while i had my creative groove on, i decided to give some baked onion rings a try at my son's request....let's just say i'd better stick to yarn, felt, and fabric for a while!!!

one of my goals for 2012 was to get my crafty self back in action. today was fun and hopefully the beginning of a craftier year.

a word

2012-01-17T18:58:00.002-05:00

discover

this year i decided i needed a word again. you see last year, i'd like to name as survival. that is how i felt all year - just surviving, for many reasons. although, i will say God grew me in amazing ways last year - it was still survival. this year, with the gift of zija in my life and God's bit of goodness i felt the need to focus. for the first couple weeks of 2012 i pondered. i had a few thoughts, but mostly i just chewed on them. then, one morning while chewing on those pondered words a new word immediately jumped at me: discover....ah yes, God, there it is.

so what am i out to discover you may ask? well, i'm not so sure. but i feel like God has asked me to discover Him a bit deeper this year. to discover where He is at work, where He is leading me, who He is leading me to. i want to discover a bit more about my hubby; where is God leading him, what is growing in his heart. i want to discover my kids; how God is putting them together, what their dreams are becoming. i want to discover my calling; how is God growing my heart, how is God leading me. i want to discover the world; from a different perspective, from getting my heart and hands dirty.

i think it could be fun, intimidating, freeing, heavy, exhilarating and exhausting. i have a few plans in place to help, like this one and maybe this one

so....anyone out there choose a word?

a new home

2011-12-09T18:28:00.004-05:00

many of you have already seen the pictures of our "new" dining room. if not, check my hubby's blog out at hoosier happenings. it is really quite amazing and well, makes me giddy happy.

but this post is really about finding a new home for this

this clock hung in my grandpa and grandma's kitchen, then in the apartment, and then in their nursing home room. this summer my grandma died and we had to clean out their room. my cousin brought some items for us cousins to sort through. we found pins, bookmarks, and charms that were easy to divide up (in some rather unique ways i might add!), but there was only 1 clock and 13 of us grandkids. as we all stood there no one seemed overly eager to take it, but i sure wasn't going to give it up. the cousins remembered it from their farmhouse (prior to my arrival) and since i'm the only one with a farmhouse today the clock was sent home with me. i was delighted.

i brought it home and set it on the table. it isn't quite my hubby's style, but i think he knew this clock was staying! i was determined to find the perfect spot for this clock. so we did the dining room and there was no way we would put a nail on the new wall! however, my amazing hubby found the perfect spot for my clock. (it helps cover a wallpaper seam!)

it greets us as we come and go from our farm. it is rather simple clock, but when i hear it tick i can go back to sitting at their kitchen table eating bacon sandwiches, drinking sweet tea out of their green glasses, and listening the their chatter.

i loved my grandparents and count it as such a blessing to have had them for so many years of my life. the loved us all unconditionally. they would show up randomly at our homes while just out for a drive. they were such kind hearted, hard working, dedicated servants. i feel honored to have this bit of their home in mine. a piece that represents the simple passing of time, but reminds me to slow down and enjoy each and every moment.

some ugly beautiful...

2011-11-23T13:37:00.003-05:00

there have been some great disappointments lately in my little neck of the woods, but i'd like to take some time to acknowledge those "ugly beautiful" tid bits for which i can offer words of praise this thanksgiving....

...bottles upon bottles of medicine for it helps my son breathe

...piles of laundry for my family has clothes

...dusty floors and furniture for it shows progress on our dining room remodel

...tears for it shows i still feel

...a serving of humble pie for it is a way to receive and demonstrate God's grace

...for trials that draw me to the feet of Jesus and make me fully dependent on Him

...a cluttered kitchen for it fills us

...rainy days for it reminds me that God's love rains down on us

...gloomy, cloudy days that force me to hunt for glimmers of light

...noise from the backseats that bring me to my knees often

...hurt because it reveals my need for healing

...empty coffee cups for the comfort that warmed my soul is lasting

how about you - what glimmers of joy can you glean in the ugly??????

in the morning.......

2011-11-07T08:50:00.002-05:00

this past week has been really hard. i feel like i've come to a wall, or more like i've been put in a room with all walls and no doors or windows. the dizzyness is overwhelming, the back and neck pain is intense, the emotions are everywhere. mostly i feel like i've come to the end. everything i've tried to get better works for a little while and then stops. the resources are dry. my will is waivering. there is new meaning to the verse, "help my unbelief!" after a rather sleepless night due to pain that wouldn't relent, this morning was rough. i practiced some "ugly beautiful" when i listed off gratitude for tears of pain that reveal i still feel emotions, daylight to drive my kids to school in so that the drive wasn't nearly as dizzyfying, another day to bear, etc. as i neared home the song "times" by tenth avenue north came on. this portion touched me deep in my soul.

i hear you say "my love is over,

its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
i'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
i'm there through your heartache
i'm there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you

my love never ends, it never ends

as i prayed this morning, i begged God for grace. i can't imagine this is what God has for me, but at the same time i can. so, i long for the grace to bear it well and the knowing that God is there - in every single emotion........

13 years...

2011-10-24T12:39:00.002-04:00

in honor of 13 years together i thought i'd share 13 gifts my hubby has given me...

1. gift of friendship

2. gift of love

3. gift of forgiveness

4. gift of motherhood

5. gift of order

6. an appreciation for almost all things old

7. gift of laughter

8. gift of culture

9. gift of comfort

10. gift of wisdom

11. gift of humility

12. gift of passion

13. his heart

making the most....

2011-10-12T19:42:00.003-04:00

...of our indian summer! hubby has been busy fixing up the chicken coop and painting all of our doors (anyone wanna guess what color they are now?). that resulted in a rather large burn pile. knowing that today was the last day of sunshine, warmth and low winds he mentioned we needed to set it a fire. chicken boy (the nickname my son would like to be known as on this here blog) asked if we could roast some hot dogs. sure, why not? do we need to always eat a healthy dinner? so, i loaded up a tray with hot dogs, chips, bread, pickles, peaches, ketchup and mustard and headed out of doors for dinner by the fire.

i love this girl....i mean seriously, how can you resist that big grin!

and these boys - so glad they are mine! the big fire had burned down, so we had to build a bit of new one to roast by.

here is our fine dining experience....amazing huh? they tell me these are the memories they remember and i'm so glad we can make them together.

and this one...just because i absolutely love her sense of style! dress, tights, cowboy boots....she spent most of the evening running around outside listening to her ipod.

so thankful for these days we've had.....we burned leaves tonight and listened to the corn rustle in the wind and i said to my hubby "this is why you moved me to the country!"

in my heart today...

2011-10-10T10:05:00.002-04:00

in the pain....there is healing

in Your name...i find meaning

so i'm holding on...........

family pics

2011-10-06T13:54:00.002-04:00

just sharing a few of my favorites.....

2 weeks...

2011-09-26T19:28:00.003-04:00

you can do anything for 2 weeks, right???? well that is what they tell me anyways...so this thursday will mark 2 weeks of being processed sugar free!! woo hoo!?

let me back up a bit...i've been battling something for almost 10 months now. last november i was diagnosed with a "random virus" and was told it would run it's course. well, it has continued to run its course and i've been down ever since with dizzyness, soreness, and general feeling yuck. at first it drove me to insanity...then it lead me to anxiety...then i just decided to ignore it then i'd start that cycle all over again.

so about 10 days ago i went to see this iridoligist...it was a different experience. but i was sure he'd tell me what was wrong because it surely wasn't still a virus. but alas, he said it is still a virus. he gave me some herbal anti something to take, thryoid herb to take, and then a couple of immune boosters. but the biggy was taking me off processed sugar!! uh, why? well, apparently sugar feeds a virus. the goal was to starve the virus, but i thought i might starve myself!

so, i came home determined to do this for 2 weeks. i mean it is only 2 weeks right? and frankly, it hasn't been near as bad as i had thought it would be. i was surprised to find sugar in nearly everything you buy at the store - from salad dressings to ketchup! so cooking has been a bit of a challenge, but i feel like i've managed well. some of my favorites have been, cocoa almonds, pistachios, apple slices with natural peanut butter, and cheese slices. but i sure wanted something snacky....enter this

my word have you ever tried pirate booty?!?! i'm addicted to the aged white cheddar stuff! i mean addicted! it is super yummy. it is like a combination of cheese puffs meets popcorn. i haven't tried the other varieties, but this one is amazing. try it my friends!

so one thing i've really missed is pasta. my family eats sghetti of some kind once a week. so last night i made one our homemade sauces with sausage and peppers. i left the sugar out of the recipe. noone noticed. but since i can't have pasta i did zucchini. you peel a zucchini and then use the vegetable peeler to continue peeling the zucchini into ribbons. heat a bit of olive oil in a skillet and through the ribbons in for about 4 minutes. i used that as my pasta and served the sauce over the top. i must say - that i think i loved it more than pasta itself!! it was AMAZING!

so...at about 12 days in.....i've learned i really can live without sugar. i've been to 2 parties and managed to sneak one teeny bite of dessert and be completely satisfied. yesterday was my worst day so far as far as cravings go.....but today is a new day. i have nuts packed, an apple with natural peanut butter, and 2 sugar free pumpkin cookies with apples and walnuts (these are a bit gross, but i've grown to like them!)

so....i'm trying to decide how long i will keep this going? because fall is my favorite season for dessert and pumpkin spice latte's!

why should i help them???

2011-09-14T11:00:00.003-04:00

last fall i heard about a program called blessings in a backpack. a dear friend had gotten it started out in wyoming. it intrigued me. i pondered it. i got info on it. i told a dear friend here in town. gave her the info. we pondered. we were intrigued. we sat on it. this summer during our love week, we committed to it!

so what is it you ask? it is simple really....do you realize how many kids are on free and reduced lunch at schools? in our kids' elementary alone there are well over 50% (i don't know the number but i know it is WELL over that 50 mark!). most of these kids enjoy their breakfast and lunch and go home to find empty shelves. sure there might be a few things, but not much. and for some kids, they are home alone during the weekends and what is in their shelves they can't prepare. these kids struggle to stay awake at school. they struggle to complete their work because they aren't alert. overall, they are simple and innocent kids that don't have the necessary things in life.

blessings in a packpack is a non-profit national organization. they send us the back packs and we raise the funds. then each friday we hand a backpack of food to a child selected by their guidance counselor. these items can be easily fixed or are ready to eat and for the child. studies have shown increased attendance, better grades, and better overall achievement.

you may ask, why can't their parents get help (food stamps, neighborhood center, etc...) well some do, but for many it simply isn't enough. or maybe the parent, sadly, doesn't provide for the child. our food banks are low on food as well. this is a problem that isn't getting better year to year - only worse. i personally have seen kids tuck part of their lunch in their pockets to take home for the weekend.

the NEED is real...and we can choose to wait for someone else to fix the problem, or we can help! for only $80 you can provide a backpack of food for one child for the ENTIRE school year! think about that a minute....you likely have $80 of food on one shelf in your pantry at home. can you imagine the smile on a child's face when they are given a bag of food to take home. children are often innocent victims of the systems. as i watched the help last night i was reminded of abilene's talk to mae mobely "you is kind, you is smart, you is important." with each back pack we get the chance to say those same things to a child.

would you consider helping? our goal is to feed 25 kids beginning in october. so far we have 5 sponsored. maybe you own a business and would want to be a corporate sponsor. please contact me for info - all donations are tax exempt!! would you join us in letting a child know that we believe in them????

i went to the blueberry...

2011-09-05T12:25:00.002-04:00

...and i
ate aardvark soup
and blueberry pie.
i did crafts
while riding the ducks
i bought a frankenstein puppet
and listened to the GREAT jetta and the jelly beans.
i ate a hamburger
and ice cream
then i bought jumbo jelly beans.
i flew a kite
rode a llama
carved a mushroom
noticed the nuts
saw oprah
just before i used the port a potty
and
oh my goodness i found a quaker!!

and then it was fireworks!!!

in case you are curious....we have a lot of family fun during blueberry. this year we spent some time playing games. i'm not sure when the last time was we laughed so hard as when we played the silly i went to ....and i took ...abc game! i told them i would remember them all and post it!

what did you do at the blueberry????

Jamie Grace - Hold Me featuring tobyMac (Official Music Video)

2011-08-31T14:37:00.000-04:00

following....

2011-08-27T14:45:00.004-04:00

fairytales...i love them! i'm a sucker for princess movies. actually, i'm a sucker for any kind of movie where the girl's dreams all come true. i just love those happy endings even if there are all sorts of obstacles in the way. the struggle draws me in to make the happy ending all that more gripping.

well, lately i've been pondering my dreams. not the kind i have at night, but the ones that sit buried deep in my heart. do you have any of those? dreams? you know, the ideals and opportunities you want so desperately until life happens and you bury them deep.

last fall i chatted with a friend about some of my dreams. she was very encouraging and i admit to taking a few small steps toward them, but well, if i'm honest life set in and those dreams were buried even further. but obviously not far enough to keep them from finding their way back to the surface. i have spent the year battling my body and mind over physical limitations that frustrate me to no end.

this summer, our preaching series has been on the subtle sins. we've really hit a lot of areas that spoke to me. last week was anxiety. well, i surely don't have that. but then again i did have a doctor identified panic attack with no trigger, am constantly convinced i have a fatal disease, have an irrational fear of bats and pickles - we won't even go there. anyways...as this week has progressed and i've pondered the sermon on anxiety and what that means to me i circled back to my dreams.

you see, i really do have some dreams. i have a few things i'd love to accomplish, a few places i dream of going, and some simple things i'd like to do. some are big and some are small but all have been set aside. now, i've done the whole mom martyr thing - yea, that doesn't really work for long. i've done the whole - my husband doesn't like to fly thing. but lately i've been stuck on the whole - we don't have the income for me to do such things. and while that is true in many ways and is an honest limitation, why do i allow it to kill my dreams?

this morning i had breakfast with 3 20x's. one is leaving for 10 months in ghana. now, this has been a HUGE dream of hers - and one that i've often encouraged. but God gave her this amazing opportunity to go and she is. oh what i would give to pop over and see her. weird, since africa was somewhere i vowed i'd never go -but, well africa has worn her way into my heart in a way i can't describe and often just keep to myself.

another left his hometown and family to follow his dream. he had no money, no place to stay and no job. but he followed his dream. today he was sharing about the fact that his current job is is dream job in the place he left everything behind for.

the third...well, he is sending his girlfriend, the first one mentioned, to follow his dreams with a spirit about him that makes me smile.

now, don't get me wrong - i dreamed of this life: married, kids, farmhouse, simple living and i love it all - but there are so many more dreams to make the ones i have become even fuller. as i pondered this i thought about how quickly i can focus on those dreams left undone and miss out on the ones in front of me. and honestly, i have a great life with those i love and a job i love. so these dreams are just another layer of goodness.

so this brings me all back to my quandry: anxiety - do i "ignore" following those other dreams out of fear? i described to some fellow staff how my son avoids doing anything he can't do beyond well right away. maybe he gets that from me. maybe that is why i don't follow those dreams. the dreams i pursue are safe, attainable - with me in control. but then i come back to this: God knows my dreams and the desire of my heart.....He will provide those dreams when and if He desires them for me. if He doesn't, they weren't my dreams to have right? but do we follow our dreams (this assumes our dreams are given to us) or do we create our dreams?

geez....what a circle of thought. i just keep going around and around on this crazy cycle! somedays i start dreaming.....i plan and plot and dream some more. then i tell myself i'm crazy. so why is it that i have no problem telling my husband to quit his job of 12 years and follow his heart into self-employment? that sure doesn't seem safe - yet i meant that with my whole heart. but when it comes to me, i have an entirely different approach - back to my security net.

after the gang left this morning, my kiddos were busy playing, hubby was wandering outside or something, and i was just thinking. how can i get myself to ghana? how can i get my boy to ghana with me? hmm..then i started thinking through my list of dreams. so i think i'll share them. some are silly, some are far-fetched, some are fairly realistic. in no particular order:

...go to prince edward island

...go to australia

...spend all summer at one of those family camps (like in dirty dancing)

...eat healthy

...write a book

...live in england

...take my kids on a mission trip

...adopt a toddler

...be stylish

...having a beach house

...learn to do home improvement projects myself

...having pigs

...writing another book

...getting my masters in counseling

...counseling others

...going back to prague

...making a difference in this world

there is a sampling of my dream world. like i said, some are silly but all are real to me. i put this out here not to get sympathy or those "follow your dream" quotes but as a simple way to begin overcoming my fears related to these dreams. so we shall see...

surely i'm not alone.

what do you dream of????

what stops you from following your dreams???

leaving a legacy...

2011-08-22T08:21:00.002-04:00

it has been a few weeks since my grandma passed away, but my heart and mind have been busy processing it ever since. as prepared as i was to lose her, i was not prepared for the emotions that would come along with losing my last grandparent and for the challenge left to carry on her legacy.

this amazing group is my cousins. all of us....the last time we have all been together. we were at my grandpa's funeral last summer and wanted to be sure to capture this picture with my grandma. i remember looking at this picture later and noticing how odd it was to not have grandpa sitting next to her. they were always together - and i mean ALWAYS!

as we gathered for the funeral and friends and family shared, i was struck by the amazing legacy this couple left, and most importantly my grandma. she raised 5 kids as the wife of a farmer. my mom talks about killing the chicken in the morning that they would eat for dinner that night. she talks about how the neighbor kids would show up, and they were always welcome to stay for dinner. there would be nothing left from that poor chicken.

grandma loved grandpa with everything she had. i would often spend a week with them at their house in town. they would chatter back and forth and you could pretty much guarantee that grandpa would say something to which she would reply, "now mark." i can still here that. grandma would fix amazing holiday meals - well noodles anyway, they always had the perfect christmas presents, and they always made everyone feel important and welcome.

grandma had a lot of sisters. i never get the count right but there were a lot of them. as a young girl, i remember never getting their names right, but they always knew my name. that group of sisters were close and i honestly believe they saw each of us as their own "grandkids." i know this was true of my grandma. she would tell me stories about her great nephews and nieces and who was doing what and i would still be trying to figure out the relationship! but she cared for each and every one. the last sister sat in front of us at the funeral, next to her granddaughter. i remember thinking it so special that this cousin of mine came to my grandma's funeral...and why? because my grandma had left a mark on her too. like i said - that was just one big family.

grandma was a supportive wife that never really left grandpa's side. they often had a different version of the stories, but she always just smiled at him. they held hands all the time. they loved their church and the people in it. i think they gave to and helped more people than what most of us even know today. generosity was just a part of them.

as i sat and listened and looked around, i realized that i had been left a legacy and needed to choose what to do with that. you see, my grandma is someone that loved deeply. am i? she served her husband. do i? she loved her kids and taught them well. do i? her love knew no end. does mine?

my dad had called the day before she died. it had been about 4 months since i had last seen her. she looked like my grandma then, and being the baby of the family she knew who i was. when my dad called i hung up and started to walk to my husband. i was just about to tell him to drop what he was doing, i wanted to go see my grandma. but then a part of me didn't. i wanted to hold on to my last images of grandma as whole and alert. maybe that was wrong, but it felt right. it was her time. she had lived an amazing long and full life.

i hope that when people remember me they see a bit of my grandma: patient, kind, loving, dedicated, faithful and full of spirit. my grandma is in heaven now, side by side with my grandpa. sometimes i giggle because i imagine him telling someone a story and her patting his leg and saying, "now mark!"

love week

2011-07-26T13:41:00.003-04:00

a few years ago, it seemed like i was never in our worship service. being the children's director i found myself filling in a lot with the kiddos. while that is great, i found myself rather dry. somehow i found holly's blog which led me to here. i often listened to his sermons and still do on occasion.

one of the things i've loved about elevation's philosophy is that 10% of their tithe is tithed back to the community. they partner with many organizations. this winter, holly blogged about their Love Week. this year they partnered with several churches in the charlotte area and logged many hours of community service. they partnered with schools, agencies, and basically blessed the community.

our pastor has a heart for community involvement. it seems like us small town church-goers are pretty good at the one-anothering the bible talks about, but we often forget about one-anothering those outside our walls. so i took the leap and threw out love week at a staff meeting. i tend to find myself doing these crazy things....and of course the already overworked staff looked at me and waited for me to say, "i'd love to organize this!" and i took the bait and got to work!

our pastor jumped on board and created this logo. i put together a team of people to help organize. our youth pastor jumped on board and did a youth work camp locally the first half of the week. and i made many phone calls while our sweet secretary answered lots of phone calls!

this past week was crazy, busy, fun, exhilarating, intense, moving, and amazing all in one. i had the opportunity to see our youth do an amazing job leading a vbs to our local park day camp. oh wait, did i mention that we had a heat wave of every day high near 100?????? and that after vbs they worked outside all afternoon?!?!!?!?!

together, our body did some amazing things. we set out a goal to log 1200 hours. i wasn't sure if we could reach that goal, but my real heart in this whole event was that 5 people would find a connection and step out to serve beyond love week. i think, that prayer might have been answered!

shortly after we announced the dates of love week, our local wrestling coach (he attends our church) decided to lead a group of wrestlers to the Domican Republic with SCORE International. guess what - it fell on love week and 4 of our members headed out to love down there! so here are the somewhat final stats:

560 hours logged by our Youth at their Project Reach portion
640 hours logged by our members in the Domican Republic
599 local hours
for a total of: 1799 Hours!!

we connected with 10 local agencies!

some people got creative: paid for laundromat machines, delivered wood, meals, and cookies, visited elderly, provided transportation for those in need, babysat, cleaned houses, did yardwork, etc.....

we concluded our week with a service in the park. at the end of an extremely HOT week, it was quite moving to sit in the back of the amphitheater and look out and see people that worked hard all week worshiping God, while God so graciously hid the sun behind the storm clouds that He kept just beyond our area, until we were done!

what a joy it is to stop and think about the needs of others. so often i get sucked up in my own little world of problems and stresses and needs and emergencies that i don't see the real hurt and emergencies around me. i took our kiddos to play bingo at a nursing home. princess, my shy-cling to my leg-don't speak to a soul girl, hopped right up into a chair between 2 women and helped them play bingo. she even talked. and whizboy, he had a blast chatting with the women he sat next to. in fact, both asked when we would be going back!

it does a heart good to look beyond it's self.....

282. His hand holding back a summer storm

283. the smile from a lonely person

284. unending weeds

285. teens excited about God

286. the gift of giving

287. them asking when we can go back

288. knowing the One Who can heal

a birthday.....

2011-07-20T15:02:00.003-04:00

getting a weather radio to keep himself tuned it to current stats!

whiz boy turned 11 this july! i would say that seems crazy, and it does, but then again it doesn't! my little boy has grown up and at times that makes me sad, but then again....it is our job to raise them and let them go. for now, i'm prepping myself to embrace those preteen years and enjoy the ride it takes us on!

princess got him a dog pillow pet...he did say it is very soft!

whiz boy is full of information, kind of like a walking encyclopedia(i learned to spell that word in 2nd grade in a sing songy kind of way and even while typing it it sounded sing songy!). he has his father's sense of humor although learning when to use it and when not to use it has been a challenge. i have to say, that for all the times i feel like pulling my hair out, he really is a great kid with a spunky spirit and zest for life. i mean he is full core from sunrise to sunset, which in the summer makes for long days for this momma!

for this birthday this year we celebrated a little early with the grandparents with cake and homemade ice cream (that is a great story for some other day!) and then picked up his buddy/cousin on his birthday to see cars 2 (blah!) and eat at wings. we had a great time...and closed off his birthday celebration with a family trip to pick blueberries!

can we say HOT???!?

2011-07-20T14:45:00.003-04:00

so we don't have ac, which means we are hot, which means we aren't very motivated. so while i sit in a dark room with 2 fans on me i thought i'd share some randomness......

our back porch has been getting a make-over. hubby has done a great job and it looks tons better just primed!!!

oscar dog has gotten a bit hot lately too...while he is not fond of water he has tolerated several dips in the pool:)

the kids have greatly enjoyed the pool too...and yes, the water is brown because of iron, but they don't seem to care. we shock it for them every once in a while!

oscar had a special treat one night when we gave him "one minute to lick it!" and for those of you wondering...the jar was empty and found its way to the trash when he was done!

i did good for father's day and bought hubby these chairs. i bought him 2 so i could join him for coffee! of course assembly was required. he had help for the 2nd chair. since then i bought 2 more - they are still in the boxes!

a lesson from the green bean plants....

2011-07-14T13:08:00.003-04:00

well, this morning i was pretty excited to get out in our garden and start picking my green beans! i love green beans and pick mine young so i can freeze them for the year. they always taste so yummy. last year we had this crazy crop of beans. i mean seriously, i'd never seen so many beans on one plant!

so this morning, the kids chore was to pick beans and we all headed out early. son started on the peas (he loves to shell them too and has just spent the last hour doing just that without one complaint!) and princess and i started in with our bags on the 4 rows of green beans. i was sure our crop would be more "normal" this summer, but oh no....again, this bizarre bumper crop!

so here are my lessons:

...just put your hiney in the dirt and scoot your way through the plants.

...leave the shoes on the side of the garden

...enjoy the dirt that covers you head to toe when you decide sitting in the dirt is easier on your neck and back than the forever squat position

...you are never too old to sing bingo 3 times

...no matter how many times you sing it, the cheese always stands alone

...if my kids screamed like that baby hawk i'd avoid calling back to them too

...we all look like floating heads hiding in the rows

...we all share the bond of dirt and beans

but i will say while i was out there convincing my daughter to stay diligent to the task and keep on picking, for 2 hours, i chuckled as i would have given anything to have been done too. God gently brought to mind a verse i memorized years ago when heading to spend my summer camping through europe:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. phil. 4:12

you see, often we think about this verse as learning to be content when he have need but do we get what it means to be be content when we have plenty? for me, it meant enjoying each and every bean i picked and thanking God for an abundant crop to provide for my family all year long. while i stuff the 4 bags of beans in my fridge and anticipate the hours of cleaning and sorting and snapping and blanching and bagging and clean up - i can thank God and be content. hmm...so the whole content thing must mean no grumbling about the back i'm currently icing, the dizzyness overtaking my body, or dreading the time spent preparing! and i can honestly say, i am content and thankful for my plenty this morning!!!

269. sweet chatter with my kids

270. an abundant crop

271. the childhood memories of my mom's garden

272. singing with my kids

273. the heron that glided over our heads

274. the son who stops to notice that heron

275. the coolness of a summer morning

276. dirt between my toes

as a side note....when we were done, princess headed upstairs and packed up her clothes and toys that she doesn't want anymore to give away during love week...maybe she is getting the whole contentment thing too:)

lessons from the berry patch

2011-07-10T14:53:00.003-04:00

the past several weeks have found me pondering quite a few deep issues. i tend to go through phases like that. but saturday morning i found myself in long sleeves and jeans knee deep in pasture grass all alone picking rasberries.

it has been a rare treat this summer to find myself alone. i spent some time thinking through some of my recent ponderings. ironically, while picking the berries God opened up more than i think i wanted to hear!

you see, this past couple of weeks i've come face to face with some issues from my past. while they aren't really big issues they were ones that stir up some buried hurt. i'd been processing them and trying to move on yet again. during this time i had some conversations with a few people. one person was sharing how for them it was just easier to "forgive" the person who hurt them, but then to walk away from the friendship as a way of avoiding anymore hurt. while i completely understand that, i can't help but think that while that person may not be hurt - are there others that are hurt by that decision? are they missing out on something sweet?

the other person was sharing with me how she could understand, but knew i wouldn't walk away - because she didn't see me as a quitter. i did say that i didn't see myself walking away either, that i just needed to sort the pain out and let it go again. weird, how often we have to face painful things.

so then...i was standing in the pasture picking those berries when i kept getting cut by the thorns on the branches. those thorns clung to my shirt, pants, and left cuts all over my hands. i know that after the first couple of snags the thought crossed my mind to turn around and head back to the house, but then i looked at those berries and well, i wanted them. i know how yummy they are, that my boy loves them, and that in the midst of the pain of those thorns i'd return again and again to have those sweet berries. basically they were worth the pain and cuts. and frankly, people would have been disappointed had i walked away.

so back to my whole facing pain thing....isn't the reality of life the same way? our sermon series this summer has been on subtle sins. i talked with our pastor briefly this week about his sermon on irritabilty and anger. he asked me if i thought it was mostly true that we blame our anger on others? i laughed and said that my son sure does and then followed that up with, sadly, yes that is how we function.

picking those berries through the thorns got me thinking about that first conversation.....you see, i know there have been times when my anger - and holding on to it - has hurt innocent people in the process. i've been in those shoes. so as i pondered that, i realized that times in my life where i've been angry might have caused pain and frustration to others. i wish i could change that. i am pretty sure my family has felt the brunt of anger that had nothing to do with them. do they deserve that?

our family loaded up for a day of fun....well, it might have been the worst and longest day of fun. i mean, again, an innocent statement was taken wrong and then anger and frustration set in so then being selfish - that desire to hold on to the anger made the entire family suffer. gee, i wish i had truly learned the lesson there at that rasberry bush! the whole ride home i kept looking at my cuts on my hands. you know, being in a family and having friendships hurts sometimes. those relationships will cut at our hearts and leave their scars but isn't there something sweet about family and friends that makes the scars worth it? how could anyone just walk away from that - just because it might hurt? i sat in the car next to my husband and prayed that he would never decide i had cut him too deep that he would walk away. then i stopped and i thanked God because it struck me how many times i've cut Him and hurt Him, deeply. yet, He NEVER let's go. he NEVER walks away. he ALWAYS comes back to embrace me with all my faults and failures.

and for that i'm thankful and praying for God to keep working on this wounded heart of mine to make it a heart after his.....

264. a forgiving Father

265. thorns on raspberry bushes

266. the sweetness after the thorns

267. a family to be a part of

268. amazing and forgiving friends

a touchy subject...

2011-06-13T20:57:00.002-04:00

somehow i connected with a gal from my college days. i remember her, but have to say we ran in somewhat different circles. anyways, i enjoy reading her blog. she makes me laugh as she relates her life in real and vulnerable tales. there are so many times i find myself saying, "that is just like me!" but i'm not quite crazy enough to haul my family to 52 zoos in 52 days!

marla has written several books and does a lot of speaking to women. i admire her frankness and passion for that touchy topic: sex. so a few weeks ago she started writing about a desire for a new book. then on facebook she started asking men to answer some questions. so i guess you could say she did her research and wrote it and will be releasing it as an e-book this weekend!! she won't give me the title yet, but did allow me to ask her a few questions because i'm curious, but i had to be willing to publish her answers on my blog. since most of you know i'm rather passionate about this topic as well i think it seemed quite fitting! were you able to catch that she wrote an e-book for men on the topic of sex????

so i asked...she answered:)

you have written books for women before, what made you want to write one for men?

I actually had no intention of ever writing one for men. Do guys even read books?? But then I got three e-mails in three days from three different guys all asking, "When are you going to write the husband's version of Is That All He Thinks About?" I've gotten lots of e-mails like that in the past but never all in a row, so I took it as a sign. And started writing. And I couldn't stop.

what was the most surprising thing you found while doing research?

Honestly, the thing that surprised me most was how many happily-married Christian guys struggle with porn. 130 guys filled out my (anonymous) Husband Survey, and they were so honest about their weaknesses in this area. The good news is that most of them want out of this trap. It's just really, really hard for them. I pray I was able to offer a big ol' ray of hope to these guys and their wives.

what do you hope men will take away from this book?

Just that--hope. I want them to know there's hope for their marriages, hope for their sex lives. I really, truly believe that so many husbands and wives could have fulfilling and intimate marriages (inside the bedroom and out) if they took time to understand each other and meet each other's needs.

how is your book different than other books on sex??

Well, I'm biased, but I think it's the best book on sex a husband will ever read. Here's the thing. No one wants to read a boring book. And I personally don't want to read something that's not funny. This book is witty and real, and I think guys will learn a lot without feeling preached at. I'm like an older (or younger) sister just helping my brothers out. I'll make guys a deal. You don't like the book, I'll give you your money back.

here's one other amazingly cool thing about marla.....her family is working hard to raise money to take their 3 girls to cambodia because that is where their hearts are. AND all the proceeds from this book will be going to that fund.

so friends....check her out, check out her book, and well, maybe you could by it for let's say father's day?

a tale of two bears

2011-06-02T10:13:00.003-04:00

this here is the tale of two well loved bears...

let me introduce you to them....

first is chubs, he is on the right and belongs to me. i've had him since jr. high. he has gone to camp with me, survived a brutal kidnapping and much ridicule, and has loved me well. and he still finds his way into my arms each and every night.

the little pink one....she doesn't have a name, but was a gift to princess from her daddy on her birth. i used to take her picture next to this bear. they were once the same size. today, this little pink bear is what princess cuddles each and every night.

well, here is the where the tale begins.

at 2:30 am i hear princess calling me. great...last night she was sleep walking, what is it tonight? i drag up the steps, dizzy as can be with a pounding headache. i find her in tears frantic by her bed. "i can't find my bear!" oh man...have i ever mentioned that i truly lack grace and love in the middle of the night?

i pull back all the covers, search under the other items all over her bed, search the floor. no little pink bear! i try to calm her and tell her she must have not had it when she went to bed, pick a doll (there are 5 next to her pillow) and go back to sleep.

she's not having any of that. for the next 20 minutes i search the upstairs, waking her brother in the process, shush princess, search the downstairs, shush princess again, let princess know mommy is tired and has a headache and we should all get back to sleep. she's sobbing, i'm grumpy, whizboy is giving me his miserable-now-i'm-awake-moan. did i mention she is sobbing? i tell her that it is 3am and mom is going back to bed. if she has slept this long without the little pink bear she can make it the rest of the night. she kindly tells me it is not 3 am - it is 2:59! argh..

i march to the tote of her other stuffed animals put them in her face and tell her to pick one and go back to bed. she does, i give her a kiss, and leave.

i head to back to bed, grab chubs (my bear) and attempt to fall back to sleep. by this time my headache is throbbing and laying on either side is making it worse. i toss for awhile sure i'm keeping hubby awake and debating about moving to the couch. at 3:52 (since she needs to be exact in the middle of the night) she calls again.

this time daddy starts to get up...knowing what the issue is, in a moment of kindness i toss him chubs and tell him to give him to her. a minute later he reappears and she is silent.

ugh....now what am i going to do? i have a headache and can't sleep without my bear. and i wonder where princess gets her quirks! so after tossing for another hour, i remember that there is an extra pillow on the floor. i grab that. at least there is comfort in the hugging....after tossing for another 2 hours i drag myself out of bed and shower. call to the kids who greet me with grumpy moans.

princess finally approaches the kitchen with chubs in tow. she calmly says she found her little pink bear. where? in her pants drawer!!

hmm......

just a little ditty...

2011-05-27T21:46:00.002-04:00

i'm not really sure when it all began, but i have this thing about feet. it is weird, but i have a love-hate relationship with them.

i don't remember when it registered with me that my big toe is really a big toe....it is fat and smooshed and big. i decided i hated it and would NEVER wear sandals again. but then the summer before my junior year of high school a friend talked me into a pair of sandals. i remember them well. they were red, and frankly, are the same kind of sandal back in style today. with great fear, i bravely wore them in public. i feared the pointing finger, the shocking faces, the questions about my BIG toe.

amazingly, noone really seemed to notice. i guess i should back up and say, that i always preferred to be barefoot and i'm not really sure why it never struck me that people could see my toes when i would romp around barefoot. i think the whole color of the sandal seemed like it would draw attention to my feet.

anyways...that purchase started this great love affair with sandals and frankly feet. i am now someone that loves sandals...and i like to look at people's feet. i remember one of the first things i asked my future hubby was to see his feet. thankfully, he has nice ones:)

while i love feet...i still have great disdain for mine. truly, i despise my feet...but i figure if i slap enough nail polish on (you will rarely find my toes free from color) and slather them with lotion they will pass for a bit of cuteness.

so that picture above...it is my foot inside an imprint of a dinosaur's foot....it is a great way to keep things in perspective...mine aren't that bad and inside there...they are kinda cute:)

and in the words of my favorite author:
left foot, right foot, feet, feet feet oh how many feet you meet

the field trip

2011-05-27T21:37:00.004-04:00

you gotta love them right? those field trips where you pile on the bus with a bunch of kids and settle in for a great day of shuffling kids on to the next thing...

while field trips aren't my favorite thing...this is one of my favorite boys and he really wanted me to tag along with his class to science central.

i will say, 4th graders are much easier to manage than 1st graders:) actually this was a great place. it was full of hands on fun and i only had to really stay with him.

this was his group...we had another mom with us so between us 2 moms we were able to keep the boys in sight:)

his elementary years are drawing to a close in the next several days. i'm proud of the young man he is becoming, but dreading homework and all the struggles that come with that. but for now, we will welcome a break from school and enjoy our summer!!

making of a mom....

2011-05-08T20:13:00.002-04:00

one spunky, always right, lover of all things sports, shaggy haired boy

one sweet, lover of books, quirky, spunky, tooting little girl

i love these kiddos that keep me on my toes, on my knees, and everywhere in between

the royal siebers

2011-05-03T21:10:00.002-04:00

these ladies really crack me up. let me introduce you to my mom's girl cousins:
front row: janene, diane, jane, marilyn
back row: pat, rosalie, carolyn, my mom, jeanette
(you are all impressed aren't you - and i didn't have to ask my mom!)

now....let's just say, this is one amazingly funny group of ladies. when i was in high school these cousins starting getting together every other year for a long weekend. they take turns hosting the group. this year, the destination was right here in p-town! my dad was smart enough to head to china, but i was more than eager to spend some time with them.

they arrived on thursday night and from what i hear stayed up late into the night, but were more than eager to set their alarms, don their tiaras and watch the royal wedding. when i joined them for breakfast they were in pj's and beds were still askew. but watch with great glee we did.

they made my mom and i pose for a picture. i like to call her "mum" in this picture! and in case you are wondering...the sweatshirt she has on has all of their names on a denim heart. this had to be from the late 80's, early 90's...but they all wear them every get together!

so this one just makes me laugh because my mom doesn't know she still has her tiara on:)

now, when they get together they have quite the system. they all pick a spot at the table and then that is their seat the whole weekend. i got kicked out of several seats before i found the empty one. they always head out on the town, or surrounding communities. this time around they visited an artsy community/shops, amish flea market, amish restaurant, our church, our farm (although we were gone at the time) and found quite the adventure on a little walk around town.

about that adventure: well to protect their identity...let's just say it involved a 911 call, a mystery, an angry man, several police, fire, and emt's and many giggles in the telling of the tale!

there are so many memories these ladies share. i admit it is kind of weird to see my mom act that way, but i love it all the same. and quite frankly...it is time for my generation of cousins to have our own little get-together!

a random diy!

2011-04-25T10:16:00.003-04:00

last week i was making lemon bars for easter dinner. the final step is to dust with powdered sugar. well, i had powdered sugar but one i thing i don't have in my kitchen is a shaker. i noticed i didn't have any empty spice containers. realizing i couldn't really "dust" with a spoon or fork i had a brilliant idea!

i took one of my jelly canning jars. i use these to store things in, but the seal is broke so i can't reuse that part of the lid for more canning. i headed to the tool box and found a hammer and nail. i took the screw top off, turned the seal part upside down, screwed the lid back on and used the hammer and nail to poke several holes in the lid. then i flipped it over and put it back on the jar the correct way.

and voila - a homemade shaker jar!! it worked great i must say! i was so giddy proud of myself so i'm hoping that somewhere in bloggy world someone else can share in my joy!

the moment.....

2011-04-22T19:53:00.004-04:00

after a busy day of baking, laundry, work, i happened to glance at this...

it made me pause, say a whisper of thanks, and capture it as best as i could.

203. the gift of the cross

204. the promise of salvation

205. the hope of eternity

The City Harmonic - Manifesto (OFFICIAL)

2011-04-22T16:08:00.001-04:00

counting gifts...

2011-04-18T19:08:00.003-04:00

as many of you know, i've been counting gifts thanks to ann voskamp and her book. it has proven to change my perspective on a lot of things. a few weeks ago she provided free templates for 7 days of 7 gifts. i decided this would be a great way to prepare for easter here on the farm.

i find that there are many times i would like to complain about something in my life; finances, time, weather, parenting, weight, etc....yet, lately i find myself first look for a gift in that moment. God has not let me down yet and i have always found at least one thing to stop and give thanks for. and when, i've stopped to give thanks, i find joy.

now don't get me wrong - last night, when i got home from youth group i can't say that i was an abundant ball of joy:)

but in my counting of gifts i'm learning to see things a bit differently. last week i came home from picking up the kiddos and found a box at our back door. not the usual shape for dear hubby's maps and it had my name on it! woo hoo!!

i drug it inside and while the kids dumped their loads i found the knife to open the box. i was so excited when i found this little treasure waiting for me!!! while i'm not sure the kids were as impressed, they definitely knew it brought their momma joy!

my hubby came home and wondered why i had bought a new tea pot. i showed him the receipt - someone else had bought it and sent it to us, but they didn't leave their name. he thought maybe i had "complained" to someone. i don't remember that, and if i did i'm sorry. i do remember telling someone that my next tea kettle would be a red one!

i felt blessed.....truly blessed! do you know how cool it is to know that someone is thinking of you when you don't even know it? i do wish i could personally thank my friend. i'd have them over and share hot cocoa or tea and be joyful together.

instead, if you are reading this, know you made it into my 1000 gifts

187. the waiting gift at the back door
188. the joy of red
189. the comfort of a hot cup of tea
190. the joy of being blessed

today

2011-04-16T16:53:00.002-04:00

oh how i love this sweet girl....

...colorful rain boots

...splashing in mud puddles

...the covering of an umbrella

...the joy of a sweet child

...the curls framing her face, damp with rain

...time spent together

...a cup of hot cocoa, with a drizzle of caramel

the story of the pig

2011-04-12T18:49:00.004-04:00

isn't he absolutely adorable??????

all my life i have wanted a pig. yes, i know it is an odd thing for a non farmer girl to want, but i did. i mean, i would BEG my dad for a pig in our backyard. he was a farmer and so was my mom. they both kept a firm "NO!" every time i asked. it may have been the only time i didn't get something i so badly wanted; i might have been a tad bit spoiled:)

so a little over a year ago we moved to the farm. here, we have an amazing barn and several pastures. it is quite peaceful and every time i wander the outdoors i dream of pastures filled with cows, horses, and PIGS! i know pigs prefer mud, but goodness, we have the best barn for some piggies. i keep asking hubby and he keeps saying "NO!" i even asked if we could get one, but keep it at someone else's farm. he still says "NO!" i just don't get it.

so today.....i bought a pig. well, kind of. but when i posted on facebook that i had just bought a pig (which i truly did) i was pleasantly surprised to see all the encouragement. but what i didn't say......

...the kiddos at our church actually bought a pig (i just had to charge it on my credit card!). we collect an offering each week in our children's ministry but the money has no defined destination. we use it from time to time for operation christmas child and the kids seem to love seeing their offerings being used for God. so one day, while lamenting my lack of a pig, i came up with a brilliant idea. i kept it to myself, then a friend sent that her daughter was interested in selling some baked goods to raise money for people in need. well, that was the push i needed.

so i headed here to heifer international. i picked three animals and let the kids vote. the top vote getter was a pig!!! well, when i counted up what we had in our funds..we could purchase it right away. so today, i made the purchase for us!

i love that heifer doesn't just feed people, but teaches them how to sustain life for themselves. what great way to build a community than to provide for them a way of life. we are currently on our way to buying someone a water buffalo next...everybody has one right? yours is fast but mine is slow???? anyways - you have to watch a lot of veggie tales to know that one!

so, today i bought a pig with the help of many wonderful kids. and in the next week or so, someone is going to receive this gift and treasure that pig. it does my heart good to know that. but dear friends, i still really want a pig:)

random...

2011-04-02T14:58:00.002-04:00

here are some random bits of thoughts......

...i feel perky today

...i like my friends

...i'm ready for spring

...on monday i am going to go as sugar-free as possible for one full week

...should i cut my hair to a chin length shag or leave it to grow?

...i need to get back into my spring/summer clothes

...my parents have finally returned

...i am going to miss football and basketball season, baseball is not my thing

...could i feed my family on $50/week?

...i'm only dizzy half of the time now instead of all the time

...is it okay to let my daughter read this much?

...i'm hoping my hubby goes to chicago for research and drags me along!

...this week he took me to a most unique place of sorts - he bribed me with lunch

... we have a lot of trees to plant, well hubby does

...i love these kiddos

...we all love slushies

...sugar free for one week? will i survive?

...it is about that time where i break out the country music tunes

...i love sassy country songs

...go butler, because seriously how could you live in indiana and not root for them tonight?

we have a winner!!!

2011-03-31T16:45:00.003-04:00

whiz boy surprised us all with the bracket victory!! and yes, i know the tournament is not over, but no one can catch him! he does have one team, uconn, left in the final four. he also won with the lowest score in jgl bracket history!

so today, he was awarded his dq blizzard and certificate by his 2 uncles. i think he might have been a bit proud.

and while uconn was his pick to win it all - my boy is rooting for the butler bulldogs! what hoosier couldn't?

true confessions...

2011-03-27T15:00:00.004-04:00

...i am a bit of a pioneer woman wannabe!!! i don't go there daily, but about once a week i head over to visit her with a cup of coffee in hand. she cracks me up as she shares about her life on the ranch. but mostly, i love her recipes! i currently have 5 pans of her cinnamon rolls in the freezer. i've made several different things and the family always gives two thumbs up.

a few months ago, i grabbed my coffee and sat down to check in with her. in searching through some older recipe posts i found this one for rosemary butter rolls i knew i'd have to give it a try. of course i consistently forgot the main ingredient each and every week. how hard is it to forget frozen rolls? apparently it isn't very hard.

well, on friday i threw some random ingredients into the crockpot to whip up some warm soup. i headed to the store with whiz boy in tow, and this time, i remembered the rolls! so home we came and i pulled out my new to me iron skillet, plopped those rolls in, covered them up then carried them all over the house looking for a sunny place to set those puppies to rise.

this is my "after" picture because they i was too eager to bite into that first one. OH MY WORD!!!!!! these are by far THE BEST rolls i have ever tasted. i had to substitute dried rosemary and forgot the sea salt so i did use a bit of table salt (sea salt would make them even better!). i just have to say that when the butter sizzled as i carried the skillet to the table i was a goner, but that first bite nearly made me melt!

the bottoms are so golden and have a slight crunch. the buttery tops melt in your mouth and the salt/rosemary combination??? AMAZING!

this is one simple recipe that leaves you feeling all fancy in your cooking and needing more self-control than you ever thought you'd need!

Laura Story - Blessings

2011-03-18T08:56:00.001-04:00

so this morning i was having a bit of a pity party for myself. i've been dealing with intense dizzyness off and on since november. i had finally found that therapy was working and had a week of feeling "normal." due to finances and insurance nightmares i had to stop the therapy. this week the dizzyness has slowly returned to where it feels crippling yet again.
this morning the drive to school was hard. the lights and busy traffic make the dizzyness worse. i had just dropped the kids off and was heading back to town to do a few errands before going to work. this song played - by verse two i was in tears! just had to share
and i will cling yet again to this:

Isaiah 41:10 (from the Message)
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I am your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

gotta love him!!!

2011-03-17T16:34:00.005-04:00

doesn't this just about melt your heart???? i love this man of mine. princess had a small 2nd grade award ceremony today at school. she knows i go to most of those things, but last night she let me know i wouldn't need to come because she had invited daddy instead. well, okay then. and guess what?? he went:)

here we just look cute....it had been awhile since he'd pulled off a surprise, but fiddler on the roof might be one of the best!!!

here he is proving to us that an eagle flew over his head on our little hill. okay, dear! i will say it was a rather large bird unlike any others we see perched in that faraway tree. you can tell what i prefer to watch though:) i just find him cute!

it takes a great dad to head out in the freezing temps to teach his princess how to ice skate on our icy lane. i stepped out long enough to take the picture!

this man of mine....i love how hard he works for us. i love that he makes time for his kiddos. i love that most nights we spend the evenings together. i love that he lets me pop in while he is working just so i can give him yet another kiss. i love that he never complains about my meals. i love that he talks to our dog and watches for birds and shares it all with enthusiasm.

i love this man of mine!!!

from the kitchen...

2011-03-10T18:57:00.003-05:00

chicken bruschetta bake

if you know me, you know my great distaste of tomatoes. i usually pick the tomato chunks out of my sgetti sauce. yes i just called it sgetti!! i eat all the chunks of my salsa, except the tomatoes. but over the past few years i've gotten a bit brave and will eat small pieces of tomatoes in fresh salsa and in this dish as well.

i hadn't fixed this in probably over a year. but a few weeks ago i pulled out my recipe file to find some old favorites. i found this and realized i had everything in the pantry. that's a deal!!!!! i did have to switch out the diced tomatoes because my can was crushed instead. i prefer the diced but this worked just as well. the kids loved the chicken, but not so much the topping. this was great as leftovers, too. i ate it for lunch the following two days.

1 can. (12.5oz) diced tomatoes, undrained

1 pkg. stove top stuffing mix for chicken (i use aldi brand)

1/2 cup water

2 cloves garlic, minced

1.5 pounds skinless chicken cut into bite sized pieces (not cooked)

1 tsp. dried basil (have also used fresh)

1 cup mozzarella cheese

place tomatoes with their liquid in medium bowl. add stuffing mix, water, and garlic. stir til moistened and set aside. place chicken in 13x9 dish. sprinkle with basil and cheese. top with stuffing mix.

bake for 30 min at 400

super easy, fairly frugal, and yummy!!

enough is enough

2011-03-03T15:59:00.002-05:00

this morning i woke up and well, i know i was tired, but i felt pretty happy. i got the kiddos up and we headed off to school. as i was driving home something inside me just switched and i was mad. i started telling God my "hate list"...
...i hate that what is rightfully ours is gone
...i hate that that person will never have to suffer those consequences of stealing
...i hate that we are broke
...i hate that i feel dizzy
...i hate that our car is broke
...i hate that we are always cheated out of something
and on and on and on it went.

i just cried and by the time i had pulled back in the drive way i shouted

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, GOD!!!"

after this amazing one-sided conversation i gave him a chance to respond. i am kind like that. and you know what He said? are you ready for this??

"You are so right!"

well, thank you very much, God! I know I'm right.....

my hubby came home and seemed to notice my "righteous frustration" and i didn't say much back. but i also knew that God had led me on a spiritual journey that i wasn't finished with yet, so i picked up where i left off last week - psalm 7 from the message. i start in and notice that david is telling God that if he, david, really did the things he is being accused of that he is willing to take the punishment, then he asks God, "to get us ready for life" he explains that as God probing our soft spots and knocking off our rough edges. umm...i guess the conversation is getting a little one sided the other way?! david closes the psalm by saying that he is "THANKING GOD, WHO MAKES ALL THINGS RIGHT"

hmm.....i'm listening

so then i pick up where i left off in one thousand gifts by ann voskamp. (as a side note - this is a must read!) this book has moved something deep inside my soul as ann opens her heart and His Word on gratitude. the subtitle is: a dare to live fully right where you are. and today i need to live fully right where i am so i continue on. as i read God starts to bring up my hate list. he gently nudges me to the gratitude list i recently started. i kindly remind him just because i can find things to be thankful for doesn't mean i can't find things to complain about. i wish i could remember to stop arguing back with Him. so i start reading on page 85. here ann asks if i "believe in a God who rouses Himself just and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity?" she is wrestling with the same thing in this chapter...if she captures the moments of gratitude what are the other ones? God then gently brought to my mind the israelites wandering around the wilderness and how they complained about God's provision of manna. so a few pages later, on page 89 ann recalls hearing God ask her "'Can you eat My manna, sustain on My mystery?''"
okay at this point i'm thinking i have had enough - remember enough is enough God?
there is so much more that struck me in what i was reading....but what really struck me was God's answer, now an hour earlier, that enough really is enough.

you see it was the reference to the manna that clicked with me. those israelites had witnessed more miracles than what i ever have. yet, they were constantly whining about things. God must have been quite annoyed with them. He provided them with manna and they were told to only pick up enough for each day. did you catch that? enough for each day?

So that whole question from God "Can you eat My manna?" well, let's just say, i think he was asking me that as well this morning.

His manna is ENOUGH
His grace is ENOUGH
His forgivenss is ENOUGH
His portion assigned to me is ENOUGH
our pantry is filled with ENOUGH
our checkbook has ENOUGH
HIS LOVE is ENOUGH
for TODAY!

so i spent the rest of my morning in awe of Him. in awe of the truth in my whiny statement. i went back to the end of psalm 7. am i praising God, the One Who makes all things right? the One who gives us our enough? the ONE who is our ENOUGH?

42. conversations of the heart
43. the smile of my child
44. the gift of morning chatter
45. the sun rising
46. a tumbling dryer
47. enough is enough
48. the abundance of His manna

a big night

2011-02-23T09:20:00.002-05:00

whizboy is all about sports, you know? this fall he started talking about becoming a sports broadcaster and talked and talked and talked. so we mentioned to our local guy that whizboy might be interested in seeing how it is done. last night was his big chance!!!

we headed off to senior night where whizboy got to see all that went into being live on the radio. he was taken into the locker room to meet the team and then able to read the records on air. as the game came to an end he made his picks for play of the night and player of the night. he differed with his play, but the rest was right on! he was then able to close out the post game show with reading the high scores!

here he is getting the headset on! it cracked us up because he is SOOOO animated at home while watching a game, but his nerves got the best of him and he spoke so calmly and quietly!

a big thanks out to our local station - only in small town america will a great guy give this young boy a chance to live his dreams!!! needless to say, it took a long time for him to calm down and settle into bed.

in her eyes

2011-02-21T19:27:00.003-05:00

i had the opportunity to head to a conference a few weeks ago. i was going to be gone ALL WEEK!!! woo hoo! well, kind of. it was one intense conference full of information that challenged me, convicted me and encouraged me in my pursuit of counseling!

anways...this year i'm doing project 365. a project where i take a picture each day and scrapbook it. knowing hubby would be lost without his camera for the week i left my 2 budding photographers in charge. i assigned them days. well, i guess princess kind of "hogged" the assignment and that whizboy just didn't seem to take the initiative....

so anyways - not quite what i expected but here is the sneak peak of the weak through her lens....

an action shot of oscar in the sunlight...a rare treat for him these days!

some game playing....although i just realized this is me so i'm not sure when she took this.
i think i lost:)

another shot of oscar cuddled with her bear and kitty...

i guess the album will have a week fully dedicated to one oscar dog:)

happenings...

2011-02-21T18:57:00.003-05:00

so mrs. wacky witmer let me know she missed looking in my back door. maybe the rest of you do too, so i thought i'd bring you up to speed with a series of posts over the next couple of days:)

first off....hubby recently spent an hour or so sharing with whizboy's 4th grade class all about the michigan road. i'm not sure who was more excited! as he was preparing for that princess learned she needed to interview one of her parents about their job and then do a power point presentation. sure she wanted to ask me she let me know that my job wasn't nearly as exciting as daddy's and it was all about him!! really? is it just that he can wear pajamas to work? above she is conducting her interview!

as a window into my selfishness extreme.....when hubby was on city council he had meetings almost every week. being a mom that lives for my kids early bedtimes there were 2 options on meeting nights...and extra early bedtime or the kids could stay up 30 minutes late if they rubbed my feet, back, and played with my hair:) ahh.....well, the other night princess was bouncing around and needing to settle down so i gave her the option of early bed or playing with my hair. so i was dolled up with pigtails and some make-up!

and then there is what seems to be on our tv pretty much non-stop these days - scooby-doo!!!! we have a history with scooby doo. and since someone out there wants to hear my tales you can all listen (although i guess you can just leave my page!)
anyways....back when whizboy was mapboy he had this weird fascination with really boring movies about big trucks. as he headed off to kindergarten i got concerned that he wouldn't know what the other kids were talking about. so in an effort to make him socially aware (pathetic - i know) i headed to the library. i was done with barney and clifford...but scooby doo...that is something boys should like. i mean i loved that show as a kid. so home i came with our first dvd of scooby - old school scooby! at first, it was hit of miss but scooby quickly became a household name with both princess and whizboy. i am particular about the newer episodes.

so a few years ago the kids started using sugar packets and creamers at restaurants to recreate scooby shows while waiting for our food. they are definitely creative! for christmas we decided they needed the scooby people. an online search revealed we could only find them online. there were all sorts of weird comments - like they smelled like skunks and people had to throw them away. one of my favorites was the velma didn't have underwear! i was trying to remember which barbie had underwear!! anyways - we took the risk and ordered them. thankfully they didn't smell like skunks and the kids never questioned the underwear on a hard plastic velma:) they were loved and adored and lost and found and still a part of our little world today!

wow....but you never saw that story coming!

so there you have it - a little glimpse into our back door.

a snow day

2011-02-02T18:39:00.003-05:00

so we got hit with the blizzard of 2011 around here. while i'm not so sure it was the "epic storm of the decade" it was pretty impressive, but lacked about 10 inches of snow! we were snowed in here on the hill. a plow made one lane on our road early this morning and our local plowing friend dug out our driveway.

so while we were home for a day here are some pics of our fun:

whiz boy cuddled under the blanket with oscar....although he was reading up on log cabins for his pioneer project!

princess munched on her pizza and raisins while reading still in her pajamas at lunch time:)

and of course some valentines cookies!!

we also:

- made caramel corn
- lost twice in blokus to whizboy
- successfully sunk all his battleships
- made a grocery list
-shoveled out our cars (well hubby did that)
-made brownie pudding cake with princess for dessert
-watched a show on the lincoln highway
-watched the news over and over and over
- watched a hawk eat the mouse he caught in our front yard
- saw 3 deer walk down our road
-made pizza for lunch
- yelled HOORAH!! when the 2-hour delay call came!!

a pantry full of cheerios:)

2011-01-27T20:40:00.003-05:00

many of you might remember my post several months ago about whizboys "day of cheerios." it definitely was a turning point in his constant complaint of meals. in fact, when he starts in now all it takes is me letting him know there is a box of cheerios in the pantry!

so, noticing that princess has become more and more picky, today i entered war with her. i had some ham leftover along with 1/3 of a package of noodles and some corn. so i whipped up a variation of my mil's pork and noodle casserole (i believe this was a truck stop recipe). for me this was using up what we had and providing a yummy meal. i whipped up some corn bread muffins, although i admit not my best version, and we had a delicious "leftover turned new" meal.

princess of course asked for something else. no, ma'am, not this time. so yes, she had to eat the casserole. she loves all the ingredients but mixed together, she says yuck. well, little lady....the challenge is on. after a small whiny fit when i put in on her plate i very firmly pulled out the cheerio's card....for dinner, breakfast, lunch, dinner and every snack in between!

guess what - she ate it. slowly and in bits and pieces. for example, she picked out the noodles and ate those. the dipped the ham chunks in ketchup, but she ate it without another word of complaint. the tide has turned and the monster that i allowed to thrive is slowly being put to death. yes, i know i parented this one wrong for the last 5 years, but i'm taking it back!

AND as a bonus for the night, i successfully hid the cheese that was melted into the casserole from one smart little whizboy who said, "mom, this is really good! make this again sometime!"

i for one am thankful for cheerios!

while i'm away...

2011-01-26T19:32:00.001-05:00

they are either eagerly awaiting my return, or frankly just need to get out more often:)

on turning 36

2011-01-17T16:15:00.004-05:00

so i guess 36 is truly getting older! the picture above is part of my new nightly routine. while the "vicks" is temporary due to a cold, the bengay, tension lotion and pillow spray are all things i use to help me sleep better! crazy huh?

so back to turning 36....i woke up last friday with an INTENSE head cold. i mean INTENSE friends! adding that to my already dizzy thing and i was a bit, well, it was not pretty. on saturday morning, while nursing my sick little self, hubby asked how sick i was as he threw me tickets to see fiddler on the roof!! well, i am not that sick:)

here we are at the morris. in a weird random way we were sitting next to a couple we knew so they kindly offered to take our picture. you see the young 'un behind me...he is from a local high school that will be performing fiddler this spring. he plays moytl (sp?). let's just say he was quite excited about every little thing and he didn't seem to mind me blowing my nose at the end of every song. after the musical we headed out to dinner where i was insanely dizzy, but due to a long wait for water we were treated to free dessert! yummers and happy birthday me!

grandma and princess went goodwilling - princess in all her goodness wanted to buy me a present of her own. she done good! she had me open it and when i pulled it out she said, "i knew it was just what you like!" how right she was! a super cute brown sweater in just my size.

as for my actual birthday.....well, let's see if i can entertain you all.

i woke the kiddos up. like most mornings there was great disdain in my precious ones. once whizboy finally makes it downstairs i get the usual lame breakfast comments followed by several other grumps. at one point i asked him what was special about the day and he said, "it's monday!"
princess finally arrives, and although prompted by hubby, gives me a smile and a happy birthday!
we start our drive to school. the radio mentions MLK day to which whizboy promptly declares as the special thing he didn't remember. i promptly replied it was also my birthday and enjoyed the rest of the car ride in silence, until he was sure were way too late. oye!

then i headed back home and got myself ready for some therapy. i had an appointment for some therapy for vertigo, the newest "diagnosis" to my dizzy spells. WOWZERS!! that was some crazy stuff to which the therapist kindly tells me she's not getting the results she would like. well, you did hold my head in some bizarre positions, fling me up and down by my head and expect me to not still be dizzy?!! oye!

once i got home i reported back to hubby that he was going to need to go with me next time so he could learn how to twist and pull my neck. we go tomorrow..oye!

hubby had planned to take me to lunch...so off we go. we had a great lunch at this amazing place. it is all asian food served in bento boxes. i was so proud of myself for trying a few newer things - like cold asian noodles. but i must admit to really wanting to go back and soon!!!

we picked up the kids, came home for awhile and then to my parents for dinner. my mom fixed me a steak dinner and my favorite birthday cake.

of course, the kids argued the whole way home, fought the bedtime routine, and only called me back up a couple of times.

all in all - turning 36 has been great. i do feel older, but i also feel blessed. and while i'm sure hubby is tired of my whiny begging to feel normal again, i really can't complain. i have two amazing kids and one amazing hubby, faithful friends, and joy abundantly:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

bliss

2011-01-11T21:38:00.003-05:00

there is nothing quite like a day with your girlfriends....

we met at 8:30 for coffee. at 12:30 we decided we were hungry. and when 3 girlfriends are hungry lunch is a must!

i love these ladies and am so thankful for their place in my life.

a year of.....

2011-01-08T11:41:00.002-05:00

starbucks??????? well only until my gift cards run out! and no, it isn't because i'm giving up coffee or my passion for starbucks.

this past year was quite lean in our little home. income was down and expenses piled up, more than what i realized. as some unexpected vehicle and medical bills come in with our christmas bills i feel overwhelmed i guess.

you see, we have always lived rather frugally, but this year there are some projects we'd like to do - mainly add a second bathroom to this old farmhouse. and of course, that costs some money.

so as this new year begins i am thankful that we closed our books as well as we did in 2010. i'm thankful that God continues to provide and that we obviously have not gone hungry.

but i'm also realizing that we need to find ways to save some money so that we can add that bathroom. i'm not sure how that will look, but i do know that my starbucks love is going to have to suffer a little, or maybe a lot this year. this is a hard one for me because this is where i connect with friends and friendship is something i need. but i will trust God in this.

i look at this picture of my pantry, and while this was after a grocery shopping extravaganza, i also realize my need for more creativity in fixing meals with what we have. so a new plan of meal planning and wise cooking is in store as well.

now for other extras in our budget: we have track phones. hubby rarely uses his, but mine is going off all the time lately. that eats my minutes and when i could once buy a minute card every 3 months it is down to every month. so i'm planning to turn the phone off more often. i guess people will have to understand. but the $40/month is quite a chunk of change.

sadly, there isn't much extra to cut out.......we don't have cable and since hubby works from home internet can't be cut.

so - does anyone out there that still reads my blog have any ideas on ways to cut spending and keep saving????

random 2010 blogs i never wrote...

2011-01-03T12:42:00.002-05:00

there was the christmas cookie baking day - one of us found it to be incredibly frustrating and left the table in tears!

there was the amazing sunrises we were greeted with many mornings. and yes, i saw a few of them and they were amazing but not enough to get me up for each and every one:)

we took a trip to the children's museum where princess was in high heaven with the barbies!!

and many days spent canning.....here are several of my jars of applesauce! i never knew it would be so easy and quick with this handy dandy kitchen-aid attachment i borrowed...this year, there was one under the tree for me!!! woo hoo...bring on the applesauce, applebutter, salsa, spaghetti sauce, pickles!!!!

christmas in pictures

2011-01-03T12:22:00.004-05:00

so here are the kiddos eager to see what is under that wrapping paper! both seemed content with their loot. i'm thankful for simple kids who received simple gifts this year.

christmas eve with my extended family....i love this photo of my amazing niece shot by princess!

and what momma's heart doesn't leap when she sees her hubby teaching daughter how to ice skate!! those skates had been on her wish list for a few years. a huge thanks to grandma that found them for a buck at goodwill in just her size!!!!!!

this year i do promise to blog more often, friends....i have so many posts rattling around in this brain of mine. i'm hoping my project 365 will keep me a bit more motivated as well!

ah...2010

2010-12-31T12:40:00.002-05:00

what a year 2010 was...here, i share my journey

january: i turned 35, we hired a new pastor, and of course we packed up our first home of 11 years in less than 5 days and moved! it was quite the crazy adventure...

february: we lived most of this month without a kitchen, blew a few fuses, realized the old windows allowed a lot of cold air, i threw my keys at the nice man at the car dealership and demanded he fix the door that wouldn't stay shut. yes, i truly did throw them and yes i demanded! i was quite proud of myself.

march: we had our first real big adventure when we had the fire in our brand new dryer! we started to settle into life on the farm. we toured south bend chocolate factory

april/may: i headed to atlanta for a conference with dear lizziey...we had a blast until the last day when she got sick....i set the car headed for home and in a few hours i was nearly passing out. we found a hotel and checked in. the next day - feeling weak, but eager for home we waited out an amazing rainstorm in a gas station parking lot!

june: we put in our garden and the kids found life on the farm to be um....fun, boring, lonely, and HOT!

july: our garden started producing in crazy amounts. we got some new neighbors, and did i mention our crazy garden??? we had a lot of fun at creator camp. jack turned 10 and had a football extravaganza on what had to be the hottest day. chloe and i headed to the big city on the train for fun with grandma and grandpa for an early birthday celebration.

august: i learned the fine art of canning and enjoyed it. we ventured to holiday world and spring mill for family fun. the kids went back to school, chloe turned 8 and celebrated with her friends at a nature themed party.

september: ah....a life of routine:) i launched a new children's ministry format and gave up lazy sunday nights for a 5/6 grade weekly meeting. i love it!

october: kurt celebrated his birthday, we celebrated our anniversary with our kids who threw us a party!

november: i had a blast helping put together our annual celebration service at church. i found myself in quite a state of weird illness and on the couch for a good week. hubby took over being mom, dad, taxi driver, chef.....i love that man of mine!

december: a month of celebration!! and some deep soul searching done by yours truly...

i had set out 2010 as a year of change. i had no clue what all was in store for me and there was change like you would never believe! i have many regrets and many joys over the past year. but i'm left with this nagging sense that God is calling me to something this next year and while it scares me like crazy it has me excited for what it might be.

i'm still thinking about my word for 2011......i think unsettled, content, grateful....all of those strike a cord with me. i guess as i move through this weekend i'm trusting God to speak His Word into me!

a few of...

2010-12-29T16:31:00.003-05:00

...my favorite things:)

...the glee cd! oh yes, it brought squeals of great glee!!!!

...the project 365 album....again more squeals of great glee!!!

...a vintage ring that brings great joy to my soul!

...a christmas without the flu, colds, ear infections, roseola, etc...

...many great family nights!

...watching my hubby teach princess to ice skate on our icy driveway!

...a renewed passion and zest for this crazy life i've come to cherish:)

winter wonderland

2010-12-12T18:55:00.002-05:00

sycamore hill lit up:)

i had a rough several weeks surrounding thanksgiving due to some random viral thing that left me, and probably my good doc, puzzled! so anyways - i felt upright enough to venture out for our tree that weekend. we tried to talk the kids into a tree from lowe's - yes, we tried - but nope, they wanted to go to the farm to get one. oddly enough, we just walked their pre-cut trees and grabbed one.

anyways, it is a beautiful tree that took the life of a dear club chair. i remember as an older teen making my mom do theme trees for a few years. i still think that would be fun, but as the kids put up the random collection of ornaments i was touched by the memories hanging on that tree of ours. i never thought of myself as too sentimental, but the memories just struck me this year.

in other winter news: sycamore sledding hill opened up last week. we have had so much fun in our own backyard. the round of rain yesterday cleared our hill, but with the snow currently falling outside we should be back in business soon!

just cause.....

2010-11-19T11:28:00.003-05:00

where i live

2010-11-13T16:11:00.002-05:00

this is probably going to be a bit of an odd post. one that is full of rambling, but oh well, it is where i live...

i live in memories. while that may sound sad, and sometimes i can't figure it out myself, i truly do. the older i get the more i realize this weird part of me. you see, i have a memory not like many people. it is very vivid and photogenic. i remember complete lectures based on what a certain person may have worn to class that day. yep, like i said weird.

so about a month ago i was driving around by myself and heard this song (the one you are hearing). i like to think i know songs that i don't and immedietly start singing along, but this time all i could do was go in memory rewind. it was truly bizarre.....here is my trail of memories as i listened to this song for the first time:

...a kids-went-back to school gathering of mom's watching Anne of Green Gables and Ann of Avonlea

...watching Anne with princess last year. the boys ended up watching it with us:)

...watching Anne for the first time in college and trying to figure out how i had never seen it.

...seeing "Anne" play amedaus's wife at the shakespeare festival in canada in college

...reading the lady of shallot in brit lit in college and finding it stirring something in the depth of my soul

...reading the lady of shallot in high school and thinking it okay, but a bit odd

...returning to the present and wondering when princess will set herself to float in our little creek

like i said, i trail memories a bit differently than others. but i kinda like that about me. i'm thankful that God has blessed me with such incredible memories. times that have shaped me into who i am today. times that have brought sorrow, but for the most part joy.

so back to this song......yes, it is slighly depressing i guess, but for whatever reason it speaks deeply to my soul. is it because of the memories of my dearest friend that introduced me to anne? is it because of sharing anne with so many dear friends today? is it sharing anne with my daughter? or is it simply the purity in the words and music that speak deeply to my soul and make me long for a simple and pure life?

so what about you? where do you live? and in case you wonder, yes, i definitely live in the present........with the hope of creating stirring memories for my children to ponder years from now.

some sweetness...

2010-10-28T10:14:00.003-04:00

last weekend we were out with the kids and talking about our anniversary. we told the kids we expected them to throw a party for our 25th. whizboy instantly did the math and let us know they would be 23 and 21....they wouldn't be able to pull it off. hubby and i told them we had both been younger when we did our parents.

next thing i know, princess is in the backseat planning a party for this year! her and whizboy compiled a list of friends, planned a cake and goodie bags. they set the time and then sent out invites - some by facebook, some by email, and some by phone calls.

on saturday princess headed into town with me to purchase the needed items: lemon cake and frosting, gum, mints, and bags. she helped bake the cake then stuffed the goody bags complete with silly bands from her own collection! they contacted the invitees and were giddy with anticipation. i have to say - i was hoping someone would come. all day they kept checking for rsvps.

princess decorated the cake that morning - all by herself! and we were all relieved when several friends stopped and joined in on the festivities. it was all very simple, but i was great touched by the sweetness of it all. there are days you wonder if your kids really love you. but i loved watching them celebrate and honor us. it wasn't about us for me - it was all about them.

here is just a sampling of our friends that gathered to celebrate....we enjoyed cake, coffee, and lemonade along with good company.

while it wasn't quite the same as our annual getaway that won't be happening this year, it was very touching and sweet and will be cherished for years!

a day in the life of....

2010-10-21T20:25:00.003-04:00

...a music teacher!

early last week we were driving around when princess announced she wanted to be a music teacher. this really wasn't new to me as she has mentioned it several times this year. we were talking about it and she asked if she could spend a day with mrs. witmer. at first i just said no. but then i thought, why not?

so i contacted my dear friend and ran the idea by her. she checked with her principal who gave his approval and cheers were heard all over sycamore hill! this afternoon whizboy and i dropped her off for her "teacher for a day." she was so excited. i mentioned she might have to talk and she shocked me when she walked right in, said hello, and never hid behind my back!

mrs. witmer brought her home after school and said it was a great afternoon! thanks so much mrs. witmer:)

as for whizboy - he said this might be the only week he can say that a weekday was the best. we had picked the makings for a picnic lunch. i didn't have lunch meat so the plan was to go to the store and grab some turkey. well, can i just say that was the best martins EVER!! we walked in and even he was in awe. he kindly mentioned it was a bit cold, windy, and now raining. did we really want to eat outside? so i grabbed him some fish and fries, fixed myself an amazing salad and we headed to the upper deck for some lunch. then we headed to the local coffee shop for a smoothie for him and some yummy coffee for me. we played a game of scrabble had some interesting words. then we headed home with a stop at grandma's for me to cuddle the baby and him to catch some more espn!

by they way, in case you were wondering, whizboy has high hopes of me making arrangements for him to be sports broadcaster of the day with our local sportscaster....that may prove to be a bit more of a challenge, but i sure am gonna try!

fall recipes

2010-10-12T11:34:00.003-04:00

so....i'm a little distracted today and thought i'd share some of my favorite recipes. well, one is a new one that i just tried. the other 3 are fall favorites around here:)

Smudgies
1 c. sugar
1 c. light corn syrup
1 c. peanut butter
6 c. rice krispies
1 c. chocolate chips
1 c. butterscotch chips

Mix sugar and corn syrup to a boil. Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter. Add cereal and press in greased 9x13 pan. Melt chips together over low heat. Spread over bars. Cool until firm.

Friends - when my mom would send these to me at college i had to hide them from people. well, i did share some:) I like to double the chips and make a thicker topping!

Peppered Beef (just made last night - for the first time)
1 rump roast (3lb or so)
2 Tbsp parsely
1 Tbsp oregano
2 tsp basil, pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
16oz mild pepper rings with juice (use vlasic)

Place roast in crockpot. Dump on dry ingredients. Add the peppers and juice. Cook on low for 8 hours or longer. I served it shredded over rice and in tortillas. I think it would be yummy on flatbread with melted provolone or mozzarella cheese too! Everyone liked it here and it is super easy!

Maple Pork Chops
Salt and Coat 4 pork chops with flour
Melt 1 Tbsp butter in skillet. Cook coated pork 2-3 minutes on each side. In another bowl, combine 2 Tbsp melted butter, 1/4 c. honey (can use brown sugar just add some water to make it syrupy) and 1/4c. crushed pecans. Pour over the pork chops and simmer, covered for 7-8 minutes.

I like to double the syrup and serve the extra over rice. everyone loves this and it is easy but looks fancy shmancy!!

Applesauce Pork Roast
I use some kind of pork roast that fits my crockpot - whatever is on sale

Combine: 2 tbsp flour, 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp sugar 1/8 tsp pepper and 1 tsp mustard. Rub this on the roast and place in crockpot.

Cook on low 6-8 hours. If frozen cook on high for 4 hours then turn to low.

Combine 1 c. applesauce, 1/3 c. brown sugar 2 tsp. vinegar (i like applecider vinegar) and 1/4 tsp. cloves. Pour this over the roast atleast 2 hours before serving.

The best is leftovers - shred and warm with bbq sauce. this is the best pulled pork bbq sandwiches EVER!!!!

When I make this we eat the roast, a few days later eat it as bbq, then i can freeze the rest of the bbq for a quick meal at a later time!

enjoy friends.....

random?

2010-10-11T16:10:00.004-04:00

....no, i don't believe so!

yesterday seemed kinda weird, let me tell you about it, and then you can decide if it was random - or God just doing His thing:)

i headed into work first thing. i'm always alone the first hour. i fixed myself some oatmeal, put things away from youth group last night and sat down to send some emails. while trying to open gmail, my mouse (remember my computer story - well, the mouse i have to use is quite unpredictable!) did a jump on me and i opened a blog i read sometimes. no biggy - i guess i'll just read this first. it happened to mention the book "radical" by david platt. hmm...i've heard a lot about this book.

then the pastor rolled in, then the administrative assistant rolled in. the phone rang and as i walked into the office i heard her tell whoever was on the phone to "keep your head up." when i sat down she asked if i knew of "denise" from mcdonalds? umm...nope - nor do i even know a "denise". so a man called saying "denise" from mcdonalds told him our pastor would help him and he was desparate. he wanted our aa to call mcdonalds and get the rest of the story. so she does....long story short - new christian, life is a mess, wonders why if God is so good his life is still a mess, trying to run away from relationship here and start over. our pastor heads out to meet with him.

in the mean time....another call comes in from someone who had a husband just walk out on her and now she needs help with rent. our sweet aa directs her to someone in the community. then spends some time trying to find other places for her and calls her back.

i ask the pastor if he has heard of the book radical. he says "yes, in fact someone just gave it to me to read." a few minutes later he brings me the book.

i have lunch with a wonderful friend to discuss our operation christmas child program. what would you do if you had $20 in your pocket? we also talk about another friend who is trying to make a new start and is being bullied by a landlord....

"Lord, what is going on here today?"

"umm...the same thing I've been stirring in your heart. you asked Me to open your eyes. now what are you going to do about it?"

"well............."

i start reading radical last night.

my niece has her baby.

heart change...

2010-10-09T09:03:00.002-04:00

exactly where God has my heart these days

http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1279

lessons learned....

2010-10-02T11:03:00.002-04:00

...my daughter is a rather unique kind of gal. if you ask people they say she is a lot like me. of course we are both blond and blue-eyed, but she has her daddy's build. she does get some of my shyness, although i seemed to have always had the ability to talk to anyone and everyone about anything and everything!

one of the things i find most interesting about princess is her sense of style. i mean she will shop for hours. try on clothes, put them on hold, try on others in another store. she doesn't care if she is at good-will or macy's. walking chicago is pure bliss for her. and believe me, since she was able to put her own clothes on she has every intent of dressing herself in whatever fashion she comes up with. and boy have their been some doozies. as one friend said, "it's okay - on her, it works!" and yes, it surely does.

this week, she came down in this outfit. i love the pants and sweater, but told her it would warm up and she might want a t-shirt under her sweater. i told her there was a white one in her drawer. well, she came down with this. lime green socks with frogs on them and a lime green t-shirt. i just grinned. she was as happy as a lark and bounded off to school. hubby and i laughed. i think he even asked her if those were the only socks she had.

when we got home that afternoon i asked if anyone had commented on her outfit. she gave me a funny look and said "nope". she then grabbed her book, pulled up to the table and read for the next 2 hours. that she gets from me too - i just have to hide in the bathroom for such occasions:)

anyways - that got me thinking. i've been doing a lot of that lately on a lot of topics....but i spend tortureous minutes picking out my clothes. i always have. you can ask my mom if you know her. i feel like what i wear is intensely important. later this week i had to go to a meeting with hubby. it was one of those where i needed to look nice. i was so bummed to open my closet and realize my fall/winter options for looking nice are slim. the whole night i was consumed with what people thought of my outfit. why???? my clothes do not define me!

i got home and tucked my daughter into bed. she had on footy pj's that are crazy. she had picked out the next day's clothes: a fancy sweater with brown sweatpants (for a field trip i might add) she was so proud, but mostly just confident in who she is. she has a lot of friends, is well liked, and well, has a style all of her own.

so why am i not that way? why can't i be confident in who i am? why oh why do i spend countless hours complaining about my clothes, pouting over my looks? i think my daughter has some lessons to teach me! oh to be 8 again:)

a fine art...

2010-09-22T19:19:00.004-04:00

...or just someone in process! i wrote several weeks ago about my motherboard exploding or imploding or whatever it is a motherboard does when she decides to stop working:) well, God has continued to specifically speak to me about lots of things, and now i'm listening, obeying, and living freely.

you see, friends, while i wasn't necessarily being naughty, i had allowed my life to get a little out of whack. summer was stressful with creating creator camp, creating journey junction, putting both creations into action, and trying to maintain some kind of order to my home. oh how i longed to sit in an open field like the picture above and just be. for me, that is drawing near to God and therefore restoring order. however, that wasn't happening at all.

then the motherboard episode kind of knocked me to my knees. God was definitely trying to get my attention and attention he got. since then He very clearly spoke to me about boundaries. i work "part-time" yet, because it is ministry and i'm paid to do it, other people often see it as full-time. they would tell you they don't, but it is when 15 people need/ask/demand something and it doesn't happen for a few days or even a week depending on the priority (obviously from my end). with that pressure i'd allowed myself to put in way more hours. in talking with my dear friend, and in reading my devotional, God smacked me upside the head that my priorities were out of whack. i longed for the days when i could just be home with my kids, no pressure, time to make cookies, time to play games, time to clean house, etc. sadly, all of those joys were stresses because of lack of time. amazingly, after a few days without a laptop to whip out at 6pm to "just finish a few things" i had time to do some of those things. we could read together, play together, watch tv together, etc...

okay - now that i had my evenings back, i needed to reclaim some day time. i started at 25, subtracted sunday hours - 7, then subtracted monday and tuesday hours -14, i only need to work 4 more hours in the week. knowing that i like to set things up on friday's i planned to go in 1/2 day then and realized the extra hour or 2 will happen some evenings or on a saturday. wowzers:) i could take 2 whole days off!

the first week i was joyous - and then i started filling my 2 days off....one was totally what i needed but the rest was kind of just filling the days. realizing i still wasn't home AT ALL...i surrendered again to God's specific prompting. we were arguing while i was grilling, He burnt my arm and I gave in!

so while i am still looking to use those days to connect with friends on a friendship level, work in the kids classrooms, and clean house, i'm also using them to connect with God deeper and rediscover all the passions he gave me outside of ministry!

ahhh.....i just told my dear friend this morning - i feel so HAPPY!!!!!!!!

over breakfast

2010-09-14T20:25:00.002-04:00

one of my morning things is to have music on in the kitchen. i honestly don't know why because there is enough commotion but i guess it makes me feel better. princess has quite the passion for music - klove in particular. the other morning, a song came on that talked about having one life to live...

here's the conversation that followed:

princess: mom, there is something i don't understand with that song.

me: what is that?

p: why does it say we have one life if we have 2? one here on earth and one in heaven?

me: well, we do have 2 lives, but we only have one chance to make a difference.

p: huh?

me: well, when we get to heaven it will be too late to tell others about Jesus. we only get the chance to do that with our life here on earth.

p: so, only the people who know Jesus will live in heaven?

me: yes, that is why it is so important to tell people about Jesus.

p: (after a few moments of silence) i'm so glad my friends all love Jesus too!!

with that she bounced off the stool and took off:)

hhmm....makes you stop and think huh?

nature girl 101

2010-09-07T20:15:00.004-04:00

several weeks ago now, princess turned 8! it is hard for me to believe my teeny baby girl is growing up, but she surely is. with our big move this winter we promised our kids real birthday parties. but we managed to take a vacation just before her birthday and start school right after.

my dear princess requested cake balls for her birthday. strawberry cake with white chocolate coating. so that's what i did - i love me some cake balls! princess graciously shared her birthday with oscar this year so we ate pizza here and made the trek to dairy queen. oscar seemed very thankful!

i did however, manage to find a way to plan a birthday party for princess. she is into american girl, in case you didn't know, so her request was for a party in honor of the doll of year, Laniey. Laniey is all about nature - tree hugger extraordinaire.

so we invited her bestest friends and had a back to nature party. whiz boy prepared a nature scavenger hunt. each girl had her own bag and list. when everyone had found every item they used them to make a nature collage that i'm sure every mom was thrilled to take home with them. then we played "what's that". basically, i stuck a nature item in a bag and they could feel it to guess what it was. then we had cake, opened presents, and swam until the end. i love simple parties and all the girls were so fun!

this was probably one of the easiest cakes i've done. princess requested a tree made out of cupcakes! we threw some gobstoppers on to look like apples and hubby added a bluebird! it was easy, yummy, and quickly gone!

now i have an amazing daughter that is growing each day. she loves to learn, read, discover, shop, and hang out with her momma!

i love you, princess

50 years

2010-08-28T17:59:00.002-04:00

i wonder if sitting there at the prom they knew where their life would go.

today my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage. in today's world, that is quite a rare thing. i can honestly say my parents are just as happy, and frankly maybe a little happier than ever.

i feel blessed to have seen a marriage that honors both God and one another. i have watched my mom serve and respect my dad at all times. i have watched my dad love and cherish my mom. they taught me what love looked like. yes, i was always disgusted by their kissing and hand holding and ugh...their dancing in the kitchen, but deep inside i loved it - and still do. they have truly lived life side by side as they raised 4 kids, married us all off, hang out with their 10 grandkids, and travel the world.

they shared their first kiss as husband and wife in this same spot 50 years ago.

i think they look pretty good today!

thanks mom and dad for being so in love and choosing to love deeply

ironic...

2010-08-22T21:30:00.002-04:00

the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of furry! the good, the bad, and the ugly all rolled into one, although i'm not sure the ugly is really there - or even the bad, so maybe just the good kind of whirlwind furry!

we headed off a few weeks ago to holiday world with my parents and 2 of my nephews. this is a family favorite. i was the only brave soul among us that would tackle the big rides with my nephew. sadly, i've gotten older and after hearing my neck crack and snap mulitple times told him i was done. although i fully enjoyed the plunging water ride!

then my little crew took off for spring mill state park. we were super excited the cave was open. however, i was totally freaked out when a wonderful little bat critter didn't like us invading his space. then the guide let us experience total darkness - while the bat chose that moment to stop his screeching! be still my anxious heart.....i guess there was a little ugly on the trip!

of course, travelling with hubby always involves a stop at some cemetary. our kids think they are like playgrounds along the road. weird, bizarre, i know. here they are posing with honest abe's momma.

and this brings me to this blurry picture of life! here is princess and me on bumber cars having a rather bumpy ride:) i'm so humorous sometimes - maybe this is the bad part? i've digressed. well, upon our return i needed to register the kids, work like a crazy mom, celebrate princesses birthday, buy school supplies, and put our house back in order. oh did i forget to mention we had our floors refinished so my entire kitchen, dining, laundry, and hubby's office was in our living room, bathroom and bedroom? silly me. geesh!!

anyways, i've digressed again. so i realized that summer was quickly over and i had major momma guilt. then i read my college roomie's blog, apparently experiencing the same guilt and how she decided to sign-off cyber world until school started. then i had coffe with dear friend on the first day of school and shared my struggles - her's too. ironically, God was totally using some very clear opportunities to talk to both of us about the same kind of thing. she took action that very day - i did not. however, i did tell my hubby i thought our world was about to change big time!

so thursday night (school started wednesday- coffee with friend remember?) whizboy was looking up stats on my laptop when he told me something had gone terribly wrong! oh my had it ever. i nearly cried, but sucked it up, mentored some newleyweds, ate ice cream pie and dropped my beloved laptop off at the fix it up guys place friday morning.

hmm....guess what - the mother board died. are you catching the irony? this momma was feeling overstressed, convicted of my time on the computer (although i'm still not sure how i'll manage to work efficiently without one - i mean the work they pay me for!) and hadn't acted on my conviction yet. oh, i knew it. i think i might have even told God i needed some clear direction on where to go. then the MOTHER BOARD dies.....

so, i no longer have a laptop, can't afford to repair or replace. and you know what - i think it just might have been a bit

ironic....don't ya think?

na....a little too ironic i think:)

ironic...

2010-08-22T21:30:00.000-04:00

saying goodbye....

2010-08-05T22:01:00.002-04:00

this weekend we'll are saying good-bye to my grandpa. grandpa was 94 years old - can you imagine?

me and my grandpa

grandpa was an amazing man that led his family well! i always remember him telling jokes or laughing, but we also couldn't get away with much when grandpa was around. he loved peanuts, so much so that every christmas we would all buy him peanuts. while it sounds superficial, it is such a real memory and to this day, when i eat peanuts i always think of him.

i was the youngest grandchild, #13 actually, so when i went to visit it was just me. when i was born they had just sold the farm and moved to town. it was a small town and he knew everyone. from the time i could walk, he would walk with me up town to get pizza, take me to the rainbow restaurant, or to the dime store to pick out a treasure of some kind. it was a long walk, but he would always be so patient.

what i really remember is that grandpa loved us all. he always encouraged us and always accepted anyone we brought through his doors.

with the great grandkids 4 years ago

when grandpa and grandma moved into a senior citizen complex he was the only man in their building. he would always complain about it - but i think he secretly liked it! he loved to tell us stories of all the ladies when we would come for a visit and he sure did know a lot about those ladies.

us grandkids

grandpa never missed an event in our lives. he came for birthday's, graduations, games, weddings, and random sunday afternoon visits. i vividly remember them showing up at our house when we'd been married a few years. they stood there with a lamp in hand - the matching lamp had gone to my sister.

my kiddos with them several years ago

94 years! he'd been a politician - well, he claims he wasn't so well liked because he would do what was right - not popular. that was something i think he loved talking about with hubby:) but mostly he was husband, father, farmer, grandpa, great-grandpa, and friend.

i took my kids for one last visit in june. while grandpa barely talked or moved, he knew us and i know he loved our visit. it broke my heart to see him unable to simply talk, i think it broke his too. i'm thankful for his impact in my life. for his ever-present kindness, love and encouragement.

grandpa will be missed. he lived well and he loved well and he leaves behind a legacy.

"i want a baked item...."

2010-07-29T20:36:00.002-04:00

i have a ton of blogs i'm wanting to put up, but i feel compelled to share about our after dinner hours tonight. while finishing up dinner i made the comment that i really wanted a baked item - you know, like a pie or cake or something. hubby threw out "or cookies" to which princess replied, "let's make cookies i can take to the tea party!"

okay - cookies it is. i remember that i don't have any kind of chocolate chips and since i don't like to make sugar cookies i suggested oatmeal raisin to the crew. every one seemed fairly excited at the prospect.

so then i text my friend kelly and beg her to come pick our green beans. now i realize i should get those cookies made - i mean wouldn't it be fun to offer her and the boys a warm cookie after taking my green bean bounty?!?!!?

then i remembered i also needed to make a veggie type breakfast casserole for saturday. so i pull out the computer and search for zucchini breakfast recipes. i settled on a spinach quiche instead. but i decided i'd see if i could find a new oatmeal raisin cookie that is a bit chewy. so i google that next. the first recipe that popped up was one that said eggless chewy oatmeal raisin cookies. ummm...OH YEAH! hubby finished off the eggs earlier this week.

i check out the recipe - it has gotten great reviews. so here we go. i was short on the butter so i subbed in my usual canola oil instead. several reviews said to cut down on the sugar so i did that too. i subbed in some whole wheat flour and ground some pecans to add to the last bunch.

my friend showed up while i was mixing so i do confess to being a little distracted. but what really distracted me was watching 4 boys throw cucumbers all around. they were cracking me up. so back to the cookies....i made the first batch and started putting the second batch on the cookie sheet when i said "i forgot to add the oatmeal!" goodness gracious....so i scoop those back up and add oatmeal. while the first batch was yummy - the ones with the oatmeal are amazing!!!!

now that i read this i realize that none of this is at all interesting to anyone is it? i guess for me it was just funny that i was so desparate to have something baked that i had to make cookies with half the butter and no eggs. or maybe it is was that whizboy has been telling me for 2 days i need to go to the grocery store and i was in denial. or maybe it is just that i've been doing nothing but garden veggies for days upon days that i'm neglecting any other kind of food item....

or maybe i just wanted to tell this story because it is my blog!

and - for a little fun....anyone wanna guess what the recipe said the egg substitute was?!?!!?!!

the hottest football game ever...

2010-07-18T21:51:00.003-04:00

so whizboy turned the big "10" a few weeks ago! i can't believe he has now lived a decade. what a tiny squirt he was, then he was fat - VERY FAT, but such an enjoyable toddler. now, he is lean again and enjoyable mixed with a bit of frustration. i'm told that goes with the gender and age.

anyways, we had promised the kids with the move to the farm they could have friend parties because there would be a ton of space to run and play. of course, i didn't anticipate 90 degree weather:)

but we had a football event that could rival any superbowl in history. 5 friends from chuch showed up in their jersey's ready to run! we did a punt, pass, kick, and sprint contest. although it was hot, it was fun.

then we came inside to "cool" off with some cake and homemade ice cream. we opened some gifts too!

note to others - green frosting does funny things to ones digestion!

since they decided this old house without AC wasn't cooling them down, this crazy group of boys headed out to the slip and slide. it was then that our camera refused to work. i'm sure it was too hot and sweaty! but when i looked out to find 6 boys 8-10 without any shirts on all standing in a line on the slip and slide i giggled. if only i could have had that picture for their high school graduations parties! super cute - and so scrawny in a real cute kind of way.

we celebrated with our family a few days prior....you can tell by the picture our young boy is really maturing:)

i really do love this boy.

lovin the family...

2010-07-14T20:23:00.003-04:00

as most of you know we planted a garden here at sycamore hill. now, we always gardened in town, too. we could get a couple helping of green beans, some peppers, one year 4 ears of corn and some zuchinni and squash.

well, this years garden has turned into a crazy jungle! we have vines running wild and zuchinni that could be used for batting practice! it is insane......

one of our abundant crops is cucumbers. i hate cucumbers but hubby and whizboy love them. he thought he planted just a few. well, today alone they had to have picked over 25 of those cukes. we've given a bunch away already and have more on the way.

feeling a bit overwhelmed with these, and feeling the need to use them to our benefit i broke down and made a batch of these...

yep friends....I MADE PICKLES!!!

i despise pickles....everything about them, the smell, the look, the taste...i even make hubby brush his teeth before he can kiss me. and i get all weird when a pickle jar is placed on a buffet table because the juices may drip into something i do like.

i know - get over it right?! well, i don't think so!

BUT tonight i loved my family well. a big batch of freezer pickles are pickling in the fridge. sadly, it only used 3 of those crazy cukes.....i guess more pickle making is in my near future.

honesty......

2010-07-08T11:13:00.002-04:00

so this morning i woke with the birds and thunder in the background. seems rather fitting - sweet little birds and roaring thunder. a bit of my life these days.

anyways, i decided that my legs needed to rest this morning, (they were still burning from yesterdays run) so i grabbed my cup of coffee and bible and headed outside. i was reading from hebrews and over and over i kept reading "today, please listen; don't turn a deaf ear..." hmm...i guess God wanted me to listen huh?

so i just sat and asked God what He wanted me to hear. i got silence for awhile. so i kept reading beyond the turn a deaf ear part. it seemed God was referring back to the wilderness wandering. that even though God continually provided they didn't "hear" Him.

which leads me to this

today i am struggling to hear God because of the above picture. i knew i was a bit touchy yesterday. i wanted to blame it on the heat and i'm sure that was part of it, but if i want to be honest, i'm exausted!!!!!!!!

you see, it is summer, which is my busy time at work normally. this summer i'm throwing in a few extra big projects which has left me overwhelmed and guilty. guilty because i feel like i'm doing nothing well and guilty because my kids are home and have spent the past 4 hours in front of the tv. what a horrible mom i am - and yes, i am blogging right now, but because i feel like i might burst if i don't get the junk out!

the picture encompasses my life right now...my computer always on begging me to finish writing curriculum. the curriculum starter book waiting to be finished. bills left in the envelope because i'm too overwhelmed to figure out how to make things workout this month financially, school supplies starting to pile up because they are already on sale and we got the list 3 weeks ago. bowling coupons because i thought i'd be a fun mom and somewhere this week take my kids to use their free bowling. other coupons because i haven't been to the grocery store in about 3 weeks and still don't have my list ready, yet realize if i don't go today we will eat pb&j for supper tonight. stuff for 3 church events that i'm a part of organizing in some way and things that desperately need filed.

ironically, this corner was supposed to be my happy spot and i HATE going there. i rarely use that word, but it is my exact feeling. it overwhelms me. nowhere to put stuff, the reminder that i have stuff left undone, the reminder i've let the family down, ugh....

i have a to-do list there as well. it was from 2 days ago. i was supposed to check everything off that list then. i still have 2 items on it and a new list is brewing that needs finished by tomorrow. i also wanted to go to a funeral visitation tomorrow to be there for a college friend, but well, that isn't gonna happen.

so on my way to church this morning to work, i heard sanctus real's song lead me...and it broke my heart. that is so where i am right now. LEAD ME!!!! because i am supposed to be leading others and am falling way short these days. some have reminded me of that while others have extended grace.

but here is where i'm getting at - here is the verse in whole

"Today, please listen; don't turn a deaf ear as in the bitter uprising."

Hebrews 3:15 from the Message

ahh...you see, what God wanted to tell me is that i'm starting to have my own "bitter uprising" and He is trying to catch me before i go there. or atleast pull me back. i look at my calendar and i cringe. all that is left to do comes rushing over me. i look at our checkbook and wonder why? i look.....

and then i LOOKED....above me fluttered a hummingbird and several birds swooped in to find their morning meal. the thunder was rolling in the background. you see...God was showing me that He does care for our needs - our daily needs. He provides the birds with daily food, why should I not trust Him for our daily needs? the thunder rolling in the back ground to reminded me that God is a mighty God. He is in command.

i do feel overwhelmed - and i'm sure that although it feels good to get this out, it is also a way to procrastinate figuring out where to start today.

but TODAY, i'm trying TO LISTEN, and NOT TURN A DEAF EAR and TO NOT HAVE A BITTER UPRISING OF MY OWN!!!

june reflections...

2010-07-01T21:12:00.002-04:00

this has been such a crazy month of storms - both weather and life. it seems like every other day we were getting the lantern out and hunkering down to weather another tornado warning. the wind has been insane but sycamore hill remains strong. whizboy captured a brewing storm on camera a few weeks ago.

as far as life storms...well, i feel a bit waist high in stuff. and realizing how much of it is just that - stuff. but seriously, i feel like i have way more on my plate than i should. hubby and i dreamed up a new approach to VBS and i'm having a blast pulling it off, but it is basically pulling it all out of my head - with the help of a great team:) add to that, i'm writing some curriculum for july and august, and totally changing up the children's ministry beginning in september. what i find frustrating isn't the changes or even the work - it is the fact that i feel so stretched right now that nothing on the homefront is getting done well. i will say though that i'm learning a lot and honestly, find it all very FUN.

then there is this small thing called our garden!! it is crazy wild and full of corn, green beans, giant zucchini, potatoes, watermelons that are a wee bit out of control, and a few other things. we ate some spinach and butttercrunch lettuce this week. it was YUMMY!!

oh...how could i forget the first sleepover hosted by princess. she is quite social and after having several melt-downs over her club that could never get together we had a sleep over this week. two of her dearest friends came over for chicken nuggets, popcorn, a movie, sleeping, and pancakes. i think they forgot the sleeping part. actually they were great, even when i reminded them at 3:30 AM that it was sleeping time not play time:)

the best part was when i heard princess say something about having a cup of water in her room. thinking they were having a tea party i let the comment go. it wasn't until one came down covered with white powder all over her face and the other bringing me the item in the above picture that i learned the cup of water was mixed with baby powder to make a glue. hmm..

oh wait, there was the frog they put under my pillow, and yes it was alive!

and here's the aftermath.....

and then there is this.....

you see, i have a college roomie that i love dearly. if i remember i'll tell you all about our love/hate relationship sometime. anyways - she went crazy insane after the birth of her 4th child and headed to her local Y. now she is a triathlete that challenged me to join her next june. so, i hauled out the bike and shipped it off to get tuned up. pulled out my running shoes and training schedule and have been hitting the road. this week so far i have put in 17 miles. while my legs and bottom are killing me, it feels amazing.

tonight, after tucking the kiddos in to bed i pulled out the bike and headed off. i'm finding that i really enjoy getting on the bike and watching the sunset. it is peaceful and calming. the running is going. a year ago i was struggling, but i'm determined. blueberry here i come:)

so there is where i've been all of june...what's coming in july???

...whizboy turns 10

...creator camp

...princess bday trip to the american girl doll store

...middle school camp, maybe

...grandma's tea party

...a few dates with my hubby

...a trip to the beach

...garden produce

AND

...hopefully a few more blog posts:)

who knew...

2010-06-09T10:35:00.003-04:00

...that my kiddos could spend hours (literally) with a tote full of random animals and little people???

i believe they stand on the porch and try to throw them into the bucket.

bragging rights!

2010-05-28T16:47:00.003-04:00

i love this kid.....and by the way, i think his new name needs to be whizboy because he knows more stats than any other man i know - including my oldest brother!!! seriously, as we were watching the butler-duke game, i commented to hubby that i don't remember the last time a championship game was so close. whizboy rattled off the last game that was this close including the year, teams, and final score. i just laughed, i mean who knows that on the spur of the moment, and then was surprised when the paper the next day had the exact some stat! wowzers...

anyways...whizboy is playing flag football this spring and loving it. 2 weeks ago he jumped up to block a catch and took a pretty hard fall, sideways, on his hip. he hopped up and looked at us with this huge grin! he is quite the "coach" and likes to call the plays. he has even drawn up a few of his own:) honestly, his ability to see the field and know what to do does amaze me. he just might be a pretty decent quarterback someday!

you know, sometimes as a parent it feels like your kids challenge you non-stop. sometimes that is how i can feel with this boy. he can be quite difficult, strong-willed, and blatantly disobedient at times. but a few weeks ago while having coffee with one of my dear friends, she asked if whizboy had told me how he stood up for her daughter at school. um....nope....

she went on to tell me how she was being picked on by a boy and he was threatening to hit her. so whizboy stepped inbetween them and said, "if you are going to hit anyone it is going to be me!" seriously? my son?!!?!?

so when i picked him up i asked if something had happened at school he needed to tell me. when he asked why, i mentioned what i had just heard. you should have seen the pride in him. he was bursting at the seems!! i told him how proud i was that he showed courage and was willing to take a punch for his friend! i laughed when with all seriousness he said, "mom, i knew he wasn't going to hit me!"

and then....yesterday he gets in the car all somber like and tells me that he had been called to the principals office! oh boy!! but then he started to grin as he told the tale of being selected as one fo the 3 flag boys for his school next year. the principal chooses 3 boys from the 4th grade to raise the lower the flag all year! what an honor that was for him. and boy did he beam with pride again.

so, even though i feel beaten down and frustrated in this crazy world of raising boys - he is getting it. and i want to be sure to brag on those qualities:)

now...

2010-05-27T16:03:00.004-04:00

...you can see me!!

and now i can see you!!!

photos courtesy of princess

a first....

2010-05-16T16:11:00.003-04:00

2 weeks ago princess came home with an invitation to her first slumber party! yikes? seriously, in 1st grade. *sigh* i guess she is just growing up. i could tell you that she was excited but that would be an understatement. she started packing that very day.....

i have to confess to being slighly torn about this whole event. i mean, she cries like crazy at grandma's house before bed - how would she survive the night at a friends house without her momma? funny thing here - at home i can't stand her cries for momma at night, but i guess there is something to liking the feeling of being needed.

so yesterday afternoon we dropped her off a friends house who volunteered to drop both the girls off at the party. she ran off with her friend and never looked back. seriously??? so this morning hubby picked up the 2 girls before church. they both ran right up to me full of giggles and smiles. i hugged princess and told her i was proud of her staying all night and asked if she cried at all. she smiled, looked up at me, and said, "i didn't even think about you once!" then off she went....

ah...my baby girl is growing up!!!

yep....

2010-05-13T13:42:00.003-04:00

...i am so incredibly in love with my man!

nothing but a memory...

2010-05-08T19:26:00.005-04:00

i truly believe that God is really stirring my heart these days. it is one of those times where conviction has set in, but along with it has come such a desire. a definite stirring of God. let me back up, although, if i'm honest, it is a rather circular thread God has been weaving.

a few years ago, God introduced me to a young woman. she had some interesting insights into "motherhood" and at times i thought she might be a bit cuckoo! i mean, my ideals were the right ones, right? well, i spent some time with this friend, and while i didn't agree with everything and knew not everything would have worked for me, i came to a much deeper appreciation for her opinions on motherhood. for her desire to be with her kids. i mean truly be with her kids. it actually opened my eyes a little. or maybe God just used her to start this brewing in my heart.

about a year ago i started reading some fun blogs. at first i was reading blogs that made me feel like a failure. how on earth could these mom's be so amazing at absolutely everything? so i stopped reading some of them and started reading a few new ones. ironically, i started to envy these blog world mom's. they seemed to be living this life that i had always dreamed of having. hmm......was i supposed to have that kind of life?

circle around to a few weeks ago when i felt like i was in meltdown mode. granted life got a bit crazy around here this winter, but all of a sudden, everything seemed to be falling apart - starting with me! one night i had been pushed over the edge and kinda let loose on hubby. i'm not sure he really saw it coming.

well, that little melt down just allowed God to continue to stir my heart. i spent some time telling him all my problems. funny, He just kinda listened while He stirred.

okay, now go back on the circle to about a month ago....hubby and i were heading to southern indiana when this song came on the radio. i had never heard it, but he had. miranda lambert sings about the house that built her. he had me listen to it and it moved me. deeply moved me. but i kinda set it aside..

circle around again....last week i was at a conference on children's minsitry, yet got so convicted about the family priority. all that stirring that God had been doing finally made sense. you see, what i was reading in blogging world had to do with missional mothering. what my friend from a few years ago was doing was really missional mothering. then, a seminar talks about the same concept, different terms. and my meltdown - really because of a lack of mission in our home that led to some utter chaos for a few months!

so, after confession time to hubby, setting some personal goals, and striving to truly be with my kiddos i'm already seeing this stirring leading to something big. one of those personal goals was to turn the radio off in the car. you see, i can easily drown my kids out and sing along. but the other afternoon, mapboy requested the radio turned on. immedietly this song came on. talk about hitting me. the lyrics are really quite simple, profound, and beautiful! it is all about going back to your childhood home and remembering, because while we often think we built the house, it is really the house that built us. it is the house that shapes us.

then it struck me....this simplicity is really what i want. i want to create a home that shapes my kids. a home that shapes them into exactly what God gifted them to be. i desire for them to have amazing memories of where they learned things, where they cried, where they laughed, where they played.

i don't know...none of this may mean anything to you....but stop and listen. watch the video....i don't know how you can't help but be moved. and just maybe, God will begin a stirring in your heart, too! (remember to scroll down and pause the playlist!)

if only...

2010-05-07T10:42:00.002-04:00

...i had remembered my camera!!

two weeks ago princess signed up for swim lessons at our local high school. this program is put on by the youth swim team and i had heard great things about it. she was so excited as she loves to be in the water and is getting rather frustrated with this momma making her wear floaties!

so for two weeks we swam each night. i was so proud to watch her go from nothing to diving into the deep end and swimming to the side (i missed that night but this was what she told me!) i was out of town when they were having a mock meet for the parents. bummer....but when i called hubby to see how it went he let me know that they had moved it to monday! apparently one of the young un's from the earlier session had what we fondly called at camp, a baby ruth incident, leading to the closing of the pool and therefore one less lesson. in an effort to not short the kids (and parents) they added a day at the end.

well, monday, princess woke up super pumped and very "nervous." she marched right up to her lane. now, friends, let me just say that up until this point she had swam maybe half the length of the pool and almost always had someone right by her. while they had people positioned in the lanes to help the kids - she was going to swim the entire length of that high school pool! we could see her looking down the lane, but when the buzzer went off she jumped right in and did the breast stroke the entire length, without stopping, and without ANY help!! she climbed out the other end, stood up, looked back down the lane, and gave out one big sigh and a huge smile! you could tell she was pumped.

they had 2 more races. the next one was the back stroke. she actually won that one, although i think she had some help keeping her bottom up which might have helped her go faster, but it appeared that almost everyone had some help on that one. next up was freestyle. this time she raced against the group above her. let's just say, freestyle may not be her best stroke!

i was so proud of this little girl and you could tell she was too! i kind of can't figure her out. she refuses to talk to people so many places, but boy does she love showing off for a crowd! but like i said at the beginning - i sure wish i had remembered my camera. i guess i'll have to keep the picture alive in my mind. the picture of one tiny princess conquering the world!!

the long road home

2010-05-02T17:15:00.005-04:00

so izziey b and i were having a great time. i'd been challenged and convicted to tears. i had laughed like a crazy woman and been wowed by some amazing stories. but as friday afternoon was winding down i had no clue what the road home was going to be like.

we had a break out session from 2:30 - 3:30 on friday. the closing session was at 4:15. we checked out of the hotel in the morning and planned to drive north of nashville that evening. great plans right!? i had just called home to hubby to let him know all of that....then the call to izziey b.

me: where are you

her: um.....i'm in the bathroom

me: pause

her: i'm not feeling so well....i'll be there soon

me: are you sure you are okay?

her: yeah, i'll be there soon.

okay...so i sit down to wait for her. it seemed to be a long time. now, honestly, i'm just thinking cramps, or the need to poop. we all know that feeling when gone awhile...when i finally see her, she is GREEN!! i mean GREEN!! i take one look and know it is time to leave. forget the final session. sadly, we have to start driving. she says she is fine and drinks some water, but we head back to the car. i then leave her at the local fast food joint to puke more in their bathroom while i head to find some bags and the car.

all is well....thankfully the puking has come to an end and she is looking less green. after the rush hour traffic and 3 wrong turns we make it out of atlanta onto the open road. after a little while she'd like some sprite. so we pull over, fuel up and i buy a coke and peanut butter crackers. i was slightly hungry but figured bringing fast food smells into the car didn't seem like a very nice friend thing to do.

we continue to cruise and now izziey b is even up for conversation. i'm happily driving and we are making some great time....and then....in one very quick moment we have this conversation

me: i think i'm going to pass out

her: okay

me: oh this is not good (pulling car to side of interstate and never really looking around me)

her: are you okay?

me: i don't think so

so we get pulled over, she rolls down the windows and blasts me with cold air. i regain my composure but am now shaking, very pale, and not feeling so good. she takes over driving and we pull over at the next exit and end up checking into a hotel. i called hubby and let him know. i'm thinking i sensed maybe a wee bit of worry in his voice as he told me to stop and spend the night.

the next morning we woke up a bit weak, but better. izziey b took over driving and even got some coffee in her. we drove through one crazy bad rainstorm, feasted on pretzels and i downed gatorade. i am pretty sure that we had never been so thankful to arrive safely home!!!

so, lessons learned....God has a funny sense of humor, God totally looks after us, and it is much more fun to be sick while driving 11 hours away from home!!!!

thanks for a memory i share with noone else miss izziey b!!!

life with izzie b

2010-04-29T21:16:00.002-04:00

so i'm out of town right now and this time with my friend izzie b (names have been changed to protect the people we know). we are actually at a conference that is rocking my world, but we are two crazy girls alone in a big city.

anyways.....she is a weird person. she likes car rides and she likes to watch the sunrise while riding in the car so we started our trip at 5:30 AM!!! 5:30 AM friends...ugh. but we had a non-eventful trip and honestly it wasn't so bad. i'm weird so i had packed us ham and cheese sandwichs. we stopped several times to get out and walk. we stopped for gas somewhere a bit redneck and they sold mostly fireworks. lots and lots of fireworks. that place also had some kind of super duper blue light hand dryer. it was honestly a bit freaky.

then we checked in and found we had a smoking room. it was quite smoky and so we asked for a change. no luck, but the nice lady offered to bring up an odor remover machine while we were at the conference. um...okay. so then we go to eat and then i talk to the kind lady for a while. she is from indiana. now we are friends. the odor eater worked for about an hour, but hey - it did work and a promise to switch us in the morning.

so..dirty dancing is on tv. that rocks. i love that closing scene and even though i had gotten out of bed at 5 am i managed to watch the whole thing.

are you bored with my stories yet? i'm not...

then this morning i got to do something i had wanted to do for about 14 years and has a long story attached to it for a later post.....

then we needed dinner tonight. undecided between the new pizza place or 5 guys i suggested we ask the people sitting at starbucks. so izzie b walked right over to ask them. they told us the pizza place was offering 10% off, but it had a weird smell. so we ate dinner at 5 guys. okay, but i'm not exactly sure what all the craze is about. then we had starbucks because that is one of the major food groups you know.

then we went to krogers to pick up breakfast for tomorrow. so izziey b wants fruit, but doesn't seem pleased with what she sees. i see the naked juices and we pick up a few and start to wander the most amazing krogers i have ever seen. i mean this placed rocked. they had a bulk food aisle. i love bulk food, i never am anywhere that sells it, but i love the concept. izzie b stops and exclaims, "are those sky balls?" umm..sky balls? what are sky balls? i see she is looking at these little candy balls wrapped like the globe. sure izzie b, those are sky balls! she grabs one?

ONE?? she really grabs just one. i comment that seems odd. she says they'll probably give it to her for free. she wanted to buy it for her niece. so we hit the checkout and she hands over the sky ball to the kind kid working the register. he puts it on the scale, punches in some numbers, looks at the kid next to him, punches more numbers, seems perplexed. first it weighed too much, then it didn't weigh enough. then i thought they were going to call the manager over. finally they suggested we go back and get 5, but izzie b. doesn't want 5, just 1. so we leave with only our naked juices. izzie b comments most people would have just stolen that. and that is what sets izzie b apart from most people.

and we have 2 days still to go.......

life post cheerios

2010-04-14T20:23:00.002-04:00

i have had several requests for a follow up on the cheerio feast here on the homefront. well a couple weeks have passed since then and i believe i can say SUCCESS!!!!

it was definitely a rough day around here. i had never seen him consume so many cheerios in all my life and he was very good at shoveling them in as a baby! i also am pretty sure he hadn't been that mad at me in several weeks. that night we had quite a discussion about meals, how much time i put into preparing, etc and on obeying/respecting our parents. the following morning he knew he had to eat whatever i prepared - no complaints or the cheerios came right back out! he patiently waited for me to serve him breakfast and he ate every last bit. then we had lunch and another joyful meal. dinner was at our friends house - he ate quite joyfully again!

so saturday came and he was allowed a tad more freedom in that i gave him a few choices at both breakfast and lunch. dinner came and he started to lose it a bit over some cheese that had started to melt. all it took was me to calmly suggest he have a bowl of cheerios instead. he managed to eat the meal without another word about it.

since then i have heard very little complaining. he is enjoying the many different tastes and colors of food these days.

however, this morning i was faced with a tired boy that just didn't want to get nto the breakfast spirit. i finally poured a bowl of frosted wheats for him to take in the car, but after i dropped him off i decided that it should have been a bowl of cheerios! especially when he saw my bag of cereal and groaned - it happened to be cheerios - honey nut though!!

so friends....if you are faced with this situation - give the cheerios a try!!!

all alone...

2010-04-11T22:31:00.002-04:00

...well kind of anyways! i had the chance to get away with my amazing hubby last week. it was 3 days of nothingness, but time spent with hubby and nature and oh.....the dozen of ladybugs that felt the need to make the trip with us. oh yes, friends, within about 15 minutes of checking into our room we noticed the little creatures crawling about. they kind of taunted me. we are awaiting the phone call from the hotel stating that we brought an infestation of asian beetles. so far so good!

so back to the getaway.....hubby had a conference in the town we honeymooned. of course i'm up for tagging along and since my parents recently returned from 3 months in the south they were just as excited to have our kiddos. and hubby's mom was pretty excited to seek refuge here at sycamore hill to care for the dog and suck up the lady bugs that didn't make the trip with us.

okay....back to the getaway one more time! when we left i packed up some work and my laptop. i fully intended to get just a little bit of work done. we left town early wednesday morning. when we arrived at the conference hubby needed to head out to his first session. i settled into the couch and turned on cable tv while he was getting ready. he left and when he returned 2 hours later he asked, "do you plan to sit here the whole time?" umm..."quite possibly!" we did take lots of nice walks on the trails, ate at some fun places, had coffee together, and browsed the town. but mostly what i did was sit on the couch in the hotel room and watch old classic movies, what not to wear, some show about brides buying a second dress, seinfeld, and a few other shows. it was a bit of heaven, i must say!

friday as we headed home we stopped to pick up a bunch of starter plants from my aunt! she has flowers like crazy and was so kind to share. those final hours home were a bit bittersweet. i love to be alone with my man. i love to just chat with him without interruptions. i love to take longs walks with him and hear the rocks crunch beneath our feet. but it is nice to come home to the kids and settle back into our little world.

and guess what - we have fewer of those darn lady bugs!

a sweet trip!

2010-03-28T20:58:00.002-04:00

most of you all know i have a love affair with chocolate, so it shouldn't surprise you that i took the kids for some spring break fun at the local chocolate factory. seriously, this was a pretty good tour. okay, so the tour itself was just so-so, but for $6 for all 3 of us we got 3 bags of chocolates, made our own chocolate spoon, and steal on some christmas goodies!

the above mr. cocoa might have been a bit too much however - so glad they saved him for the end!
my wonderful nieces joined us on this grand trip. i think they had fun, they were quite excited about the hair nets we had to wear. i think i heard them talk about wanting to make a new fashion statement with them.

mapboy making his spoon....they were supposed to freeze while we were in the movie with mr. cocoa, but they didn't seem quite solid yet. mapboy was very concerned that his was melting. after a day of cheerios he desperately wanted to eat the spoon!

princess making her spoon. she was much more patient, but definitely eager to eat the chocolate!!!

if you live around these here parts - i would recommend this for a rainy day event. they kids did enjoy the trip. it was short enough and they fed us enough along the way to hold their interest. and for this mamma...the chocolate was just what i needed to end this spring break week!

a bowl of cheerios

2010-03-25T14:45:00.003-04:00

so, i love my son. i really do, but lately his constant complaining about EVERYTHING has gotten on my nerves. one of the biggest battles of late is food - all things food. from how he asks to his ungrateful heart to his incessant complaining. he does have some sensory issues that revolve around food and since i gag on even the sight of bananas i can appreciate those issues. BUT there is no acceptance for constant complainig.

this morning, by 9 am i had heard him complain about what his father fixed for supper last night, that i needed to go to the store because i had nothing to eat (i had just shopped!), and that he was NOT going to eat the lunch i would probably fix of peanut butter and jelly! after fixing cinnamon rolls for breakfast he threw away the outside of the roll and then asked for something else! umm..no, i don' t think so bud!

i head to the shower completely frustrated. i think best in the shower and while in there i decided that maybe he should have cheerios for a while. plain old cheerios. no milk, no flavor, just plain little o's of fortified cereal!

so lunch time approached. he was jumping up and down demanding food. ugh....i calmly handed him a bowl of cheerios. he looked at it and asked what that was. umm.. cheerios. why he asks...well darling son, frankly, "your attitude has been horrible. i am done wasting my time, money, and food on someone that throws it away or throws a fit over it. you may eat cheerios today. if you don't want them we will try again at dinner." we had a bit of a stare down. okay, so he was crying and yelling, but he had the nerve to tell me he had not been warned about this. really??? the past several weeks of talking about having a grateful heart and all those opportunities to show that? i didn't back down. he eventually ate the entire bowl.

guess who's hungry again? guess what he is having a bowl of? i'm not sure how long he's going to be eating cheerios....

goings ons....

2010-03-25T12:46:00.003-04:00

one amazingly patient, hardworking hunk of a hubby finised our family room...

one amazingly talented princess proudly poses by her gallery art work downtown.

a couple of nice days drew the kiddos outside for the first picnic at sycamore hill...

the lady bugs continue to drive me absolutely insane...no, that is not beautiful buds on that tree...it is a atrocious amount of BUGS!!!!!

just another sunday night...

2010-03-15T13:33:00.003-04:00

i typically love sunday afternoons. i'm always kinda tired and lazy and just enjoy them. this one was no different. exhausted after a retreat i enjoyed watching a bball game and then the bracket draw with mapboy. i also was enjoying doing my laundry. i actually do like that task - especially with my new washer and dryer.

so last night i had put the last load into the dryer and sat down to check my email, facebook, and blogs. the kids were playing computer games in hubby's office. i got up to get them their vitamins and tell them to get ready for bed. now, the office shares a wall with our dryer. i happened to notice something amiss with the brand new dryer. it appeared to not be spinning, yet bleeping that it was drying. and you know, it smelled a little, let's just say, HOT!

i hit pause but it kept making this strange sound. so i called to hubby. we turned it off and opened it up. by now, it really SMELLED and things seemed a bit hazy around it. as we started pulling the towels out he noticed a big burning spot inside the drum. i stepped outside and thought i saw a glow from the crawl space underneath. so we tell the kids to run outside, the dog follows suit. i go after them and catch the dog and throw him in the car. then i run back inside to get shoes and a sweatshirt for mapboy, the dog's leash and the car keys. all seemed immedietly necessary. hubby had grabbed the phone, headed out the other door, and called 911. we moved the cars and sat in one to wait for the fire department.

now, at this point, i'm slightly freaked. we told the kids to pray and i kept begging God to not let my kids see our house explode! did i mention the dryer was a gas one? explosion was quite possible. mapboy was concerned he'd flunk social studies as his completed biography was inside the house and princess was afraid the library would be mad that their books burned. i reassured them and as all the emergency crew started to arrive they seemed a bit more at ease.

they sat in the car as we explained everything to the volunteers that arrived. i was so thankful that i had yet to see smoke or flames. they entered the house and yes, there was a fire, but it had remained contained in the dryer! they shut the gas off and thoroughly checked the house. now, i felt slightly foolish in that we had 2 townships and 14 emergency vehicles here for this small event, but am so thankful they showed up quickly. the men hauled our dryer outside and assured us the house was fine.

now, when i bought this dryer, our good friend told me he NEVER had to work on this brand....hmm...maybe because it just burns up? seriously, i have no idea what went wrong, but in those moments my emotions were all over the place. from fear to thankfulness to panic to laughter to why did my pastor have to preach the sermon he preached today!

we loaded back into the car and started back up the driveway when our phone rang. remember hubby had it when we left the house. so i answered it. it was my mom. she couldn't hear me too well as we were quite aways from the house at this time, but i think she heard something about moving the car so the fire truck could get out and that we had a fire. i hung up and planned to call her back when we were inside, but she beat me to it. i might have slightly worried her. she was thankful that God had protected us and i am too!

this is the inside of our dryer. my dryer ball is melted to it. you see that goopy swirl? it used to be like that other rim you see. and yes, that is the big orange burn spot. i can't believe that it didn't do one bit of damage to the closet or house...nothing!

although i have rarely ever done this.....you know how they say you should never leave your house with your dryer running. yeah...if we had not been home i'm pretty sure we would have come home to find a pile of ashes!

balls, lots and lots of balls!

2010-03-11T19:48:00.003-05:00

dear friend, daisy path, came to town for a visit. of course, this called for a party! so today we gathered here at sycamore hill for a cake ball party. can i just say, we had a lot of fun with that:)

at the end of the afternoon we had about 200 cake balls!! we had strawberry,funfetti, cherry chip, lemon, brownie bites, and dark chocolate. they are all amazing!!! we each brought a different cake and frosting combo. then we did a big cake ball swap.

here we are dipping in the chocolate. it tooke us awhile to figure out the best melting method, then the best dipping method, but it did NOT take us long to figure out the eating method!

don't they look delicious??

we also had 8 kids with us. we did feed them lunch, but well, i'm pretty sure us big kids enjoyed a lot more cake balls then they did!

a dinner conversation....

2010-03-05T18:21:00.002-05:00

in the midst of this crazy talk my kids normally have about caillou, cinderelmo, martha, and various other childhood favorites mapboy stops, looks at me, and says,

"mom, did you get 2 black eyes today?"

me: "no..."

him: "but your eyes are all blue when you close them."

me: "oh...i let your sister put make up on me!"

her: lots of giggles and squeals

him: "oh"

him to her: "so caillou is playing with...."

i'm one of those moms. the ones that doesn't wear make-up or dress up or really do my hair. but way back when hubby was off at meetings atleast one night a week the kids quickly learned that i put them to bed extra early. they also caught on that if they brushed my hair and rubbed my feet they could stay up later. hubby has never approved but i sure do!

so the other day, princess was procrastinating something and offered to rub my feet and do my hair.....she added some blue eye shadow. i was looking loverly:)

photo courtesy of princess herself

they're here!!!!

2010-02-17T15:50:00.003-05:00

this is not how i left my house this morning. in fact, i wanted to take a picture of kitchen set-up #2. it was really quite a nice set-up my hubby did! very functional and i was pleased.

but i came home this afternoon to my kitchen being moved to the dining room and boxes everywhere!!!!!!!

as you can see....the cabinets are in and some are going up RIGHT NOW!!!

isn't she pretty? i can turn each shelf by itself. look there are four drawers in the picture. i am used to only 1 drawer....what will i ever do with so many drawers?

see those boxes above....i think i'll be able to start putting them away - maybe even tonight, although with idol, the olympics, and a very important mom's morning talk to prepare the box emptying may just have to wait!

if you look closely you can find the red trim paint we sampled....i can't wait for the full effect
ahh.....did i mention the countertops won't be installed until the 27th at the earliest and that i'm not without a kitchen sink? but you know what???? i don't care....i have kitchen cabinets! plus dinner is on pizza hut tonight:)

in process

2010-02-12T08:59:00.003-05:00

it's been one adventure after another out here on sycamore hill...but there is progress!!!

here is my laundry closet. the set will hopefully be installed by mid-week!!! the wall color is woodsmoke and very nice!

here is hubby's office - well just the corner of it. he has the cutest little fan you ever did see, but he doesn't like me calling it cute and i just noticed it is cut out of my picture. boo:(

and here is my kitchen.....it is painted and where it isn't is where the cabinets will be. a friend hooked up my stove, but i've yet to use it. although next week i plan to cook and maybe even bake!!!! i need to hunt down all my pots and pans though. there were packed in a do not need box!

this is a picture of our flooring....let's just say, there is quite a mess that we aren't happy about so last night hubby started cleaning our floors. can you tell where he cleaned? i love these floors!

and here is emily......our snowgirl friend! princess and i headed out for some sledding and snow girl making on our recent snow day.

inside my journal...

2010-02-10T13:17:00.002-05:00

...what on earth have we done? this is crazy. at times i feel like it is exactly right, other times i feel overwhelmed and out of sync. i think those feelings rise to the surface when i can't find certain comforts. or when i miss saying hi to my neighbor over our fence.

...i drove by the old house for the first time today. i thought i'd be sad, but not really. then i noticed on the next drive by that the curtains were pulled down. ugh....hubby really did rub off on me with window treatments.

...princess seems sad again at bedtime. it is funny to me that she misses her closets when those were what always scared her at night. i guess there is comfort in the sameness, even if it is scarey. she did better though...only a few times of calling me.

...these stupid lady bugs might get the best of me. why do they bother me so? the house is completely torn up and dust is everywhere, wallpaper is falling from the walls, stuff is in boxes, yet it is the lady bugs that make it all feel gross. go away precious lady bugs...please oh please just go away!

...you know, i thought i'd actually really miss the old house. i remember going down the steps that last time and thinking, "i'm going to miss this" yet oddly i don't. i wish i could have walked through it one last time, but honestly my home is whereever my family is. i am ready to make this house our home, but in many ways, it is just already home!

...i'm tired of construction people in my house! thankful they are working, but tired of hammers and scrapes and the smell of mud!! didn't we just do this with the old kitchen. yep....but this too will end and i will love the finished project and this will all be a distant memory.

...we are blessed with so many incredible friends. i could not have made it through the move without them. and now people are calling and asking to bring us meals. i'm so thankful - it is a huge relief. i hope that i am able to bless people like i've been blessed.

...princess went right to sleep tonight!! i think she has accepted this as her room!

...today i asked hubby if we were going to all be okay. i'm not sure why i asked him that. i guess i needed to snuggle in and hear from him that he is okay with all of this. okay with the crazy decisions, okay with the mess, okay with us....you know just okay! he pulled me tighter and said yes....i really love him.

...i'm trying really hard to enjoy this chaos. while it seems like we will never get settled i know we will. that in a few months we will look back and barely remember the mess. atleast i hope it only takes a few more months!

...we are supposed to get snow. alot of it. not sure what to make of that and country living. guess we will find out soon enough.

the move....

2010-02-05T10:18:00.002-05:00

you see this stud above...he worked like a mad man for 7 days!! i love him and love seeing him

but...
these studs really made me happy to see!!!! this is the beginning of the kitchen!

this is the upstairs....we actually worked like crazy and got these rooms finished BEFORE the move! the blue is princess', the yellow is the toy/landing area, the red - mapboys (still need to change his name!) we painted ceilings, walls, trim, and floors in about 5 days!!!

this friend is still smiling, after 3 hours of painting ceilings! her pose makes me want to sing "chim chimney, chim chimney, chim, chim, cheeroo!"

finally!! moving day! we had a great crew show up to move the big stuff.

me and my friends....

2010-01-21T08:31:00.003-05:00

don't we all look good??? someday we will grow up, or maybe not!

it's my birthday!!

2010-01-17T20:12:00.003-05:00

my daughter took this picture....i look pretty good for getting older!

here i am celebrating my 4th birthday - 31 years ago today! funny how i so remember the table cloth, green pitcher, dishes, and hot pads. i have had some great birthday's in my life. i remember my mcdonald's birthday complete with the talking tree. i remember the first slumber party and how awful it was! i remember birthdays with my dear friend that shares the day with me. i remember my college friends dragging me out of bed at the most horrific hour in the morning to treat me to breakfast for my 21st.

i also vividly remember the birthday 12 years ago. i was a little bummed. played some pool with a friend and had a few glasses of "cranberry juice." then i proceeded to spot this guy i found cute because of how he made his morning coffee at the coffee shop i worked at. well, i literally came literally running out of the children's department to chase him down. he didn't really recognize me, but his friends were impressed. exactly 12 months later we moved into our house on my birthday as newleyweds!

this year, my birthday was fairly quiet. thankful i wasn't moving again on my birthday, i enjoyed dinner and cards with friends, a morning to sleep in...

... a huge birthday card given to me by my sweet station kids - complete with one of the most interesting renditions of happy birthday i have ever heard!

...a lunch at hacienda with the family, complete with a sombraro and amazing flowers from dear hubby. there's a story there, but i LOVE getting flowers for any reason!

...and time spent with this little munchkin!

hubby just asked me if i had a nice birthday and you know what - i did! i enjoyed the simplicity of it, i loved laughing like crazy with our friends, i loved seeing my kids get so excited about their cards and singing to me at hacienda. i loved that they didn't fight today. i love that my hubby brought me flowers - simple flowers that remind me of our simple, pure love.

a look back.....

2010-01-15T14:15:00.003-05:00

i'm feeling a little nostalgic this weekend.....

i was grand champion with my chocolate crinkles as a first year 4Her....

i can't believe i went to the state fair in a one piece romper.....goodness

who knows where this is, but i was proudly wearing my school colors!
okay, sunken gardens, but i don't know where that is.

fishing with my big sister!
i don't have a clue where we were, but i look proud of that fish

coloring easter eggs...sometime before 1980...my dad had hair, my mom just sold those canisters, and i was pretty cute huh?

SNOW DAY

2010-01-07T14:28:00.003-05:00

our friendly miss snowman

made by one pretty pink princess and her daddy

one pretty pink princess eating the royal snow

you've sunk my battleship!

2010-01-06T14:46:00.002-05:00

now, before i really begin let me just say that i actually find this all quite funny. there is humor within this - really, you should have seen me earlier:)

so, yesterday i posted on my facebook status that my battleship had been sunk. and it had, today, well, it sunk a little further! let me recap for you....i woke up and for whatever reason(hubby claims hormones) i was a grump. just kind of angry i guess, but not really. do you ever feel that way? the kids had a 2 hour delay on their first day back to school after 2 weeks! seriously, a 2 hour delay already??? actually, that was fine. they slept in and it was a rather peaceful back to school event.

then i sat down for a few minutes and realized that 2 weeks of having my kiddos home resulted in a lot of unfinished work. ugh....so i loaded up my stuff rather agitated with myself and a few others. driving to work i jammed out to some good old 80's music. love that stuff...

get to work and get even more frustrated. i'm not sure why - honestly, and while i was frustrated i was laughing too. it was weird. then hubby teases me about our bank loan. that stinker - he totally knew my temperment and decided to play with me. i love that guy - even now i'm smiling and letting out a bit of a chuckle over his little trick!

okay - i vented a few frustrations and felt better...in the meantime i'm searching deep within me for some clue as to why i am the way i am today (well yesterday, but it needs to be i in context here). not much comes to mind.

then i set off to make a poster on our copy machine. stupid copy machine. we have a love hate relationship. a year ago it let me make really cool 12x18 posters on glossy paper. yesterday, no way. it jammed, then smelled as it burned, then jammed again, then wouldn't finish the print job, then had to be turned off twice before finally forcing the wonderful secretary to call the repair man. yep - it had won the battle and taken my spirit down with it.

i head out for a run and due to some other things happening between here and there only got about 10 minutes...but it was an intense 10 minutes! intense i say!!!! while on the run it stuck me i was in over my head. i think i was frustrated with somethings because i have too much on my plate which results in doing nothing well and, well, i believe in doing all things well. my hubby might disagree on me making the bed well and such, but that is a different story.

then, i get a phone call in the evening that makes me feel like a failure yet again, but also confirms my big awakening while sinking on the battle ship. i'm in way over my head. how on earth did i get here? i still don't know that answer...

so i go to bed and start today over. still feeling a little sunk i start out my day. oh wait, did i mention princess had to cry herself to sleep because the book she read was sad and i told her it was past bedtime and reading another was out of the question. some of you may think that cruel, but the fact is if she had chosen to read a short picture book maybe, but she chooses to read 100 page books - and she reads all 100 pages at a time!! and then mapboy had 4 bad dreams - 4 mind you - last night which resulted in me giving in to lying in his room for a few minutes till he felt safe. that was at 3:30 am....

okay - so i am up and refreshed and they go to school on time. i go to school too. what a trip to be there right after a 2 week break. i asked one girl how her break was and she said "great! i puked a lot!" okay then...

i come home, eat some lunch, read some in a book, and head back out to make copies because i've been assured the copy machine is back in the land of the living and did not break due to my glossy paper burning inside it. once there i do a few odd and ends and then get ready to start printing....guess what?? are you ready for this??? the website i need to print from - well, it seems to be malfunctioning today!!! argh!!!

so, i close up, spit my gum out and grab chocolate from the secretaries jar and leave.

yep - i've definitely had my battleship sunk. i'm in over my head and swimming upstream...but like i said, i actually find an awful lot of humor in this.

i'm pretty sure the rescue boat is on it's way:)

a word for the year

2009-12-31T14:18:00.003-05:00

at the end of 2008 i started noticing this thing called a word for the year. several blogs i follow were picking a word to focus on in 2009. the idea intrigued me. as we are moving into 2010, i'm finding myself reflecting on one word - so i'm claiming it. it will be my word of the year:

CHANGE

for many of us that is a scary word. we like things to stay the same. i use to thrive on constant change, then i despised it, now i welcome it. and yes, i typed my first paper on a maching similar to this one!

so why change? and why for 2010? well, simple, our little life is clearly changing. sometime in the first 2 months of 2010 i will move to a farm! that is crazy.....crazy, folks! i mean crazy! but i can't wait. i'm so excited for this change in my life and the change it means for my little family.

change also comes in my working world. hopefully, a new pastor will be arriving shortly after 2010 begins. i trust that will bring change as well. a good change. one that is exciting and one i anticipate being amazing. i look forward to being challenged spiritually, emotionally, and as a leader. i anticipate this change drawing me closer to God and emptying me of more of myself. this change also brings the potential in new friendships, and that makes me smile too.

one of the biggest aspects of change i anticipate might look a little ugly. while this one brings me great anticipation, it brings me great anxiety as well. a few of you know that i struggle with mapboy. i love him deeply, but we are in the midst of a constant struggle with attitude, kindness, obedience, etc. for the past several months my prayers have been, "God, please get my son's heart! please change his perspective and attitude." well, over the past few weeks i've struggled with that prayer. slowly (because i'm a slow learner), God has opened my eyes and turned them back onto me. yuck! so now, i want God to change me. i'm asking God to change my perception of my son. to change my attitude towards the issues. to change my heart. i am pretty sure that as that happens the ugliness of myself will be revealed, but i desperately long for God to change me.

today i had coffee with one of my dearest friends from out of town. i was sharing this thought with her. she stated her own struggle with her son of the same age. she said it best, "i so badly want the joy of it all." that is my desire too. for God to change my heart that it is filled with such intense joy for, and in, my son. and not just that - but in being the one that God created me to be. lover, mom, and friend.

so this year, unlike many others, i am going to embrace change. i'm going to ask for change and more than likely will end up with more change than i bargained for! but well, change really can be a very good thing....