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Showing posts from June, 2018

leaving the pool, unhindered

i like words.  i like to speak them.  i like to think them.  i like to hear them.  i like to study them.  i like being able to name something.  each and everything should have a name.  and when i couldn't put a name to the emotion wrestling in my heart over all i had lost, over all i was feeling, over what hurt deep, i was lost.  i needed to name it.  but, for a lot of months i just couldn't.  so i wrestled.  wrestled with God.  just like jacob. and just like jacob, my wrestling match with God left me limp. limp and sitting at the pool of: {rejection} for that was it.  that was the emotion.  it now had a name:  rejection. it came completely out of the blue.  it hit me like a crashing wave one afternoon.  i shouldn't be surprised by God, but this caught me off guard. it's hard to share my story.  i still live surrounded by it.  and all of the various truths and falsehoods associated wit...