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beauty

one of my goals this summer was to journal more.  i have a love for writing and know that finding the quiet still place of writing soothes my soul.  summer was a bit of a flurry.  but as the summer came to an end i took some time to head outside with a writing prompt from the best english teacher ever. although this probably isn't exactly what the prompt suggested....

i've sat on it.  for me it is a beautiful piece.  but i couldn't decide if i should edit and rework it or leave it as is.  it is imperfect in many ways.  yet perfect in others. its a glimpse into just that one day.  not my every day. but a single day.  a single day that revealed a bit of what my every day should be.

one thing i'm learning - let go of what others may think and be vulnerable. so here, in all its unedited mess, is my walk to find beauty

8.3.15
today is hard - rushed, overwhelmed, frazzled.  the harsh realities of life that keeps coming at me.  i realize that when my passion is faded my focus is too.  how can i be over committed when all i do is work, mom, wife, volunteer in one place?  i can't keep up.  i can't be all.  i can't even get the school supplies together?

i feel as if my body is screaming.  its squirmy, tense, angsty.  i hate it.  i long to relax, to just simply check things off my list.  but instead the stress, angst, and busyness leaves me paralyzed.

so i set off in search of beauty.  it is not lost on me that the search itself is filled with pests that won't relent.  broken limbs that poke my toes.  the constant whir reminding me that little creatures want my blood.

in hopes of finding peace and beauty i feel even more frazzled and annoyed.  but as i turn i'm drawn again to this old barn.  not just the barn, but the contrast of its faded red, wrapped in climbing greens, perched below pale blue skies and strolling pure white clouds.

beauty

simple, rustic, still

standing with open wounds.  visible ones, yet wrapped in new life.  new life piercing through the gaping wounds weaving its way in and out.  new life finding its way into the crevices opened by battering rains and wind.  storms of life that rip the boards apart.  it would seem that those gaps would cause others to ignore the plea of the barn.  cause them to leave it alone.  and maybe that's true.  the gaps lead to loneliness, isolation, abandonment.  maybe the gaps are a result of those.  

but God doesn't just leave the gaps. He doesn't even necessarily repair the gaps. but He does bring new life to weave its way through.

the setting:  gorgeous.  on top a hill.  held up for others to see from a mile away.  on its perch.  on display.  there are wounds still open.  boards missing.  but that life, the new one, is still growing and stretching its way.  new life weaving in and out finding its way through the gaping wounds; lovingly filling them.  that's the simple beauty of New Life.




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