as you know, we have had quite the nature filled summer at our house. bats, spiders, snakes, moles...oh the fun!!
yesterday i had a conversation with dear friend. her oldest son found a lost hurt kitten. he brought it home and named it tiz. the kids were of course all excited and it is a very cute kitten. well the same son was mowing the yard and found a little baby bunny. he took it in and realized it wasn't eating so he set it free to live with his bunny family. the hope was for it to survive in nature like it was supposed to. well, i'm not sure how much time passed, but tiz the kitten caught the baby bunny and had quite the feast. apparently the son found the feast in action and seemed a little upset by setting it free to live only to be eaten by the kitten.
dear friends comment was that she was glad we aren't animals that need to eat other animals. eat them raw and fur and insides and all...
for whatever reason that conversation played in my mind most of the day yesterday. i couldn't figure out the significance in a kitten eating a bunny.
last night i had a meeting. i was hoping for a lighthearted encouraging one. i came home feeling down and defeated. there was only one comment really targeted at me that hurt, but the whole feeling of the meeting was just tense. i hate that. i really needed some uplifting, but such is life right.
well, the meeting was still weighing on my heart through most of the night and early morning. i sat down to journal and the kitten conversation came back to mind. dear friend was glad we don't eat other animals....but isn't that exactly what we do? we find prey and devour them with our words and actions. we say things to hurt them. we say things to put them down and prove our worth. we strive to prove our way is right. we tear apart their dreams and desires to fit into our own. and i confess, i was part of that devouring last night. what started in enthusiasm for me quickly turned to defensiveness and then a bit of attack to prove my worth and opinion. that is one of those things i don't like about myself. i don't like it at all....
so as i journaled i realized that i am tired of being devoured. i'm tired of feeling defeated. God created me to be exactly who i am - faults and all. i need to take joy in that. there is so much to be thankful for in everyone. if we all lived in the joy of our gifts and just used them - without programming them then wouldn't the devouring somewhat stop?
dear friend said it was just life that the kitten killed the bunny for food. that they find food because that is what they were created to do. and it is just life. but we, as humans, don't survive by attacking, we survive by feasting. by feasting on what God has chosen to give each and every one of us. it may look different to each one, but it is what i'm called to feast on - the gifts of God in my life. His love for me and love for others...and when i stop to hunt that out and feast on it - wow, does that bring great joy.
so i asked God to forgive me for my part in the wrong hunt and feast last night. i've asked him to search me and open my eyes to who i am in His eyes. i've asked to be healed from the hunt of others on my life and to just rest - in His goodness, in His faithfulness, and in His deep consuming love.
yesterday i had a conversation with dear friend. her oldest son found a lost hurt kitten. he brought it home and named it tiz. the kids were of course all excited and it is a very cute kitten. well the same son was mowing the yard and found a little baby bunny. he took it in and realized it wasn't eating so he set it free to live with his bunny family. the hope was for it to survive in nature like it was supposed to. well, i'm not sure how much time passed, but tiz the kitten caught the baby bunny and had quite the feast. apparently the son found the feast in action and seemed a little upset by setting it free to live only to be eaten by the kitten.
dear friends comment was that she was glad we aren't animals that need to eat other animals. eat them raw and fur and insides and all...
for whatever reason that conversation played in my mind most of the day yesterday. i couldn't figure out the significance in a kitten eating a bunny.
last night i had a meeting. i was hoping for a lighthearted encouraging one. i came home feeling down and defeated. there was only one comment really targeted at me that hurt, but the whole feeling of the meeting was just tense. i hate that. i really needed some uplifting, but such is life right.
well, the meeting was still weighing on my heart through most of the night and early morning. i sat down to journal and the kitten conversation came back to mind. dear friend was glad we don't eat other animals....but isn't that exactly what we do? we find prey and devour them with our words and actions. we say things to hurt them. we say things to put them down and prove our worth. we strive to prove our way is right. we tear apart their dreams and desires to fit into our own. and i confess, i was part of that devouring last night. what started in enthusiasm for me quickly turned to defensiveness and then a bit of attack to prove my worth and opinion. that is one of those things i don't like about myself. i don't like it at all....
so as i journaled i realized that i am tired of being devoured. i'm tired of feeling defeated. God created me to be exactly who i am - faults and all. i need to take joy in that. there is so much to be thankful for in everyone. if we all lived in the joy of our gifts and just used them - without programming them then wouldn't the devouring somewhat stop?
dear friend said it was just life that the kitten killed the bunny for food. that they find food because that is what they were created to do. and it is just life. but we, as humans, don't survive by attacking, we survive by feasting. by feasting on what God has chosen to give each and every one of us. it may look different to each one, but it is what i'm called to feast on - the gifts of God in my life. His love for me and love for others...and when i stop to hunt that out and feast on it - wow, does that bring great joy.
so i asked God to forgive me for my part in the wrong hunt and feast last night. i've asked him to search me and open my eyes to who i am in His eyes. i've asked to be healed from the hunt of others on my life and to just rest - in His goodness, in His faithfulness, and in His deep consuming love.
Comments