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life....

it has been an interesting week around here. definitely different and i'm starting to get some things figured out. i am sure the kids are enjoying having mom spending a little more time with them than usual! not that i didn't before but well, i'm trying to keep them more quiet which involves me sitting down with them more.

anyways - this week princess got to spend a day with grandma. she does this with every grandchild. mapboy had a turn a few weeks ago. but just like normal the one left behind feels that they need to do something special too. that frustrates me and makes me feel like a parent that has spoiled them greatly. life isn't always about being fair - it isn't always about being made to feel special. i'll get back to that one.

so....God must have heard the pleas of mapboy because about 5 minutes before we were heading out the door to drive around doing errands, dear friend called and asked us to swim. he was pumped, i was pumped and we had a great afternoon!

then yesterday, mapboy gets loaded up to head off with grandma to a state park for a long weekend. umm...princess doesn't think this is fair either. you can never please them can you. so after all sorts of whimpers she agreed to enjoy our trip to target to find her a back pack because the one she had and thought she would use is too small for a folder. not good. then we played some life and she made me up and then she took us out for ice cream with the money she made at a lemonade stand. now - one more day of keeping peace...

but i mentioned above that life isn't about being fair or being made to feel special. i'm reading a great book by don miller. it is currently talking about how since the fall, we seek approval of others. i totally relate to that. and see it in my kids. example. i bought a dress last spring. i loved it and thought i looked pretty in it. i was so excited. when i brought it home only chloe seemed to like it. so i hadn't worn it all summer. every time i'd put it on i'd take it off. last week it clicked with me that i wanted someone else to say it looked nice. it was different than i normally wear - so if i heard validation i'd wear it. well, i bought the sweater to go with it, so i decided to wear it on Sunday. i was scared to death. funny - a lot of people complimented me and i felt great!! i've continued to hear about it this week and i got to be honest - i feel good. silly huh???? yes, but well, i think i learned that i definitely fit the selfish role. i am a person that seeks approval of others. i guarantee you i will wear that dress again. and if noone had said anything it would have been given away at the next garage sale. that's how i work. not quite right huh?

i've also had a nice long list of not fairs for God lately. i hear Him repeating over and over - life isn't fair. so as i repeat it to my kids daily, i am reminded that there is truth there. the past 2 years have made me want to scream that. but i see that God being good doesn't equate with fairness in human eyes. and God being loving doesn't equate with fairness in human eyes. and to be frankly honest, even though i crave encouraging words about my appearance, God is much more concerned with my heart and He does provide encouraging words for me. i just need to listen - calmly, quietly, and intently. when i do i hear him say, "you are mine - all mine and I am good, loving, and just. come on....let's take a walk!"

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey friend! It was great to talk to you today and catch up a little. I enjoyed your blog and very much relate, I guess we all do. I read a great book on the topic and people pleasing "When People are Big and God is Small" Ed Welch. It really challenged me and helped me as well.
Brooke

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