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the gaze



“Look through there.  Just look.  Gaze for a few minutes, boy. Do you see it, boy? Do you see it?”

Looking back, even through a small hole, creates a unique perspective on the past.  And while it may somewhat limit our view, it also changes our perspective. 

I find myself working on living in the present.  In a world of hustle it is easy to get distracted and not at all focused on the here and now.  Or sometimes we are so caught up in trying to find our dreams and plan for the future that we forget to live in the present.  Being present is hard, yet so deeply needed.  It is important to my husband, my children, my friends, my neighbors, and most importantly God.  For in the present we are able to see the need in front of us. To act upon those needs.  To be the hands and feet of Jesus. I believe God calls us to be present.

The world tells us to set goals; financial, health, professional, family.  We spend hours creating documents and setting up accounts to plan for a secure future and while some planning is important I’m not sure I buy into the man made planning system of securing our future.  For are we promised tomorrow?

Sometimes it feels like our view looking back is small. Like we have this little hole to peek through.  It may feel like we are only seeing a small portion of the past.  And in many ways that is true.  We are limited to our own history.  Our own past.  And often times, selective in our view.   It’s sad really.  We make assumptions on the rest of history and bring those assumptions into our present.  And that limited view of our past creates a limited view of our present.

But when we gaze back with others our view gets larger.  And when we gaze back with those of generations before us our gaze becomes incredible, more complete.  There are lessons to be learned from hearing their stories.  From learning about their past.   Hearing those stories, viewing the past with them, redefines our present.  We begin to understand compassion.  We begin to understand community.  We begin to understand resilience. 

The bible tells us to remember.  To remember our fathers and grandfathers.  To remember their faith.  Their journey. Their stories.  It is in these memories we see God’s love.  His devotion.   His faithfulness.  His provision.  And it is in that view, we learn how to live in the present.

I have never been a fan of history, but when I hear stories from my parents and my grandparents I begin to see life fuller.  I catch a glimpse of a different era.  One that as challenging as it was, brought people together.  A time that grew communities.  A time that developed character.

My history is nearly 43 years.  I’ve seen some things.  I’ve experienced joys and sadness.  But I need to look back with others.  I need to have their viewpoint on my history.  And I need to hear their history.  As I age I find myself drawn to sharing the table with those older than me. Hear their stories.  Learn from them.  I also find myself now sharing the table with those younger than me.  Those that need to hear my stories.  That need to learn from my experiences.

We are shaped by the past.  Both individually and collectively.  Lately, I’ve been told to forget the past.  To just let it go.  I’m not sure that is the right answer. For like the Bible says, it is good to look back and remember.  But what I do need, what we all need, is someone with a little more experience, a little more life,  to stand at the fence of the present and peer back through those small holes with us.  To expand our vision a little further and say, “Do you see it? Cause I do. God is faithful.  I promise.”

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