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the table

last night i sat with a group of friends around the table.  it was such a sweet time.  full of laughter, tears, and stories better kept at that table.

as we sat there i took a few minutes to take in the people around the table.  some i've known forever.  some are new friends.  some were students in our ministries, turned dear friends. i'm blessed with amazing friends from so many places.  and so many friends have carried my through the year.


2017 has been the year of the winding road.  in choosing the word present for 2017 i sought to slow down and soak in those around me.  there were surprises at every single curve in the road.  the road became quite hilly along the way filled with all sorts of highs and lows, but while sitting at a table one day, the road came to a dead end i found myself lost and confused. 




and it was there at that dead end that i met Jesus.  don't get me wrong.  i met Jesus years ago, but at this dead end i found myself sitting alone in a starbucks trying to figure out exactly how i was going to thrive at this dead end.  for those words had been spoken to me.  this dead end was really setting free to thrive. 

as i sat at that small table that afternoon i let words flow from my heart.  i am just like those Israelites. they had been set free from slavery only to find themselves standing at the edge of the red sea.  their own personal dead end.  they kept asking God why He had brought them there to just die.  and honestly, i was asking God that exact same question.  why did He bring me to this dead end? 

i sat there.  and cried.  i cried at that table for all that had been left behind.  all that i was going to have to leave behind.  i cried because of the chains of slavery i'd been wearing.  a very different kind of slavery, but well, chained for sure. and how comfortable i felt wearing those chains.

those Israelites were certain of their death as they stood there.  and frankly, i felt certain of my death too.  not in the physical sense, but in the sense of  the essence of who i had been.  the death of what made up a huge portion of my life, my heart. 

but sitting at that table that day was a turning point.  i poured out my heart to God; my bound up heart.  and finally started feeling a bit of freedom.  that maybe i wasn't standing at a dead end.  it may have been a forest in front of me, but i was going to bravely walk into that forest and see what it held.

a few days later i was again sitting around a table.  and lets just say, my chains were loosed that day.  it was not pretty.  but that table was the beginning of healing.

then one day i met a friend at a table.  after nearly 5 hours at that table my heart was starting to beat again.  then another friend, another table.  more life.  again, different table, different friend, more of a heart beat.

i started to notice a theme. tables.  sitting around the table was starting to breathe life into me.  it was less about the table and more about the people.  and you know what? Jesus breathes life into people around the table.  think of all the times Jesus dined with the broken.  Jesus celebrated at the wedding tables.  but most importantly Jesus gave us the Table. 




that day in starbucks was like eating from the bread of life.  that day around the table being set free;  i'm set free because of Jesus.  all those friends across the table, manna.

and last night sitting around the table....freedom.  it felt like a step forward into this forest at the dead end.  but instead of a scary forest it feels more like narnia, where He may not be safe, but always good.  adventure awaits.  of that i am sure.  and i'm ready. and dare i say excited?



and around these recent tables i've found my word of the year for 2018: unhindered.  i'm committing this year to living unhindered.  set free.  open handed. bountiful.  unhindered.  and  i hope to create a table that allows space for those around it to share unhindered.  whether its my husband, my kids or our friends, i want a safe place to share.

Jesus lived his life unhindered.  let that soak in a minute.  Jesus lived his life unhindered.  and this year my goal is soak Him up.  to sit at the table with Him.  to hear His words.  to see Him.  to know Him. to live Him.

and last night around that table? unhindered.  new friends or old, they saw the real me.  and every single one was the real them. together we put to rest all that 2017 held and toasted our way into a new year of living life unhindered.

as we all step out into 2018 together let's live life unhindered.  let's seek to pursue the perfect example of the One who lived unhindered.  let's gather around tables together.  let's pursue this life we've been given unhindered.

unhindered

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