the back door

i have struggled to put together thoughts on 2008. for me it was a year of extremes...extreme emotions and extreme changes. i've learned so many lessons and have so many more to learn. i have failed at many things and seen success in others. but as i reflect, i can honestly say 2008 was good. i thought i'd put together a few lists for 2008... favorite new finds: facebook, mapmyrun, freedom, sparkpeople, achievement favorite books: the shack, blue like jazz, velvet elvis, kathy herman series favorite blessings: friendships: new and old, health, ministry opportunities, game nights favorite times: westward ho vacation, working beside my hubby, mondays at starbucks, couch time, celebrating 10 years of marriage, the sieber reunion with my cousins, crossing the finish line at my first 5k favorite places: tetons, gilette wyoming, starbucks, holiday world, new harmony favorite things learned: God will not disappoint, God is faithful, how to be simple, how to love deeper...

this is us with my grandparents. aren't they cute? they are 92 and 90....definitely lived a good long happy life. we gather with them and my mom's extended family on christmas eve each year. this has always been a favorite time of mine and i have so many memories of those nights in their basement. we had a pool tournament that became known as the porter cup, complete with trophies each year. we always had mashed potatoes and noodles. we always had stockings. we always stayed late and laughed lots. 8 years ago, they downsized and moved into senior apartments. christmas eve is now held at my sisters in the same town. it is still nice and still fun. we don't do gifts anymore, just dinner, games, and memories shared. not all of us are there anymore. cousins are scattered across the country and are always missed. this year, i noticed that my grandparents were aging. this is hard for me, as my other grandma was just always sick. on our way, i told hubby i was st...

oh - it was a jolly old time on christmas morning....i was tired, but the kids were wired! mapboy was up at 6:30. i managed to keep him quiet until 7:00 when princess woke up! mapboy is a bird lover...so this internet linked book was a huge hit. i also made each of the kids new flannel pillowcases. mapboy's is the green thing in the picture, on top of the green wrapping paper. princess got a pink princess one:) and the gift that santa would surely bring - MIA! i got to tell you that santa and i had several discussions about why she didn't need this doll this year, but when i saw the face - santa was so right about this one! now next year will be a different story!

so it is quite a cold day here on the homefront....quite cold! but i braved the wind and ice and headed out to pick up movies for the family. i could only find mapboy's 2 requests, but the hubby and princess still seemed quite pleased. so the plan was to have some popcorn and watch christmas movies. i got the popcorn started - which by the way we are making it the old fashioned way these days and all enjoy it so much more. plus i can pop my large kettle and then have plenty for the kids to snack on for several days! so anyways...mapboy got the movie all set up and i finished the popcorn. hubby poured drinks and cut up some summer sausage for himself. we were all prepped to watch santa claus is coming to town. i brought the popcorn out and noticed mapboy had his bible open and was searching through it. he was on the hunt for the story with the shepherds and couldn't find it in matthew. so i sent him to luke 2. as princess and i dug into the popcorn he told us to stop e...

we did our annual visit with santa several weeks ago...on their wish list: mapboy: basketball princess: american girl doll, mia on their letters to santa: mapboy: batteries princess: batteries i sure hope they aren't disappointed!!!!

so yesterday was supposed to be party day at school....but we woke up to an ice storm and 2 hour delay....then cancelled! after about a half hour of mapboy's tears and complaints, he did decide to make the best of our day home together..... so i made chocolate dipped pretzel rods and they each ate a few.... t hen we painted some christmas crafts that we are giving as presents...mapboy had a great time mixing colors to find just the right shade... and princess worked in great detail and enthusiasm for her creations... as our day drew to a close we all headed to church for about an hour worth of work, ate dinner out, and then on to wal-mart....wal-mart on friday night was INSANE!!!!!!!! but we needed to finish out some gift giving to a local charity and have then have the kids pick out gifts for each other... it was absolutely beautiful outside - ice coated everything, and i mean everything.....but i love the glisten of it and am thankful we didn't lose our power! hubby - we...

so i worked so hard at training my kids to sleep as babies. i could basically just put them in bed and say good night. several nights i would sing one song to them just because i liked too. mapboy has this special song i have sung every night. and princess likes to pick different songs a lot. so it had always been - a song a quick prayer and good night... somewhere along the road things has spiraled out of control. as a way of trying to instill some cuddle time i've tried to read with the kids before bed. i miss that from their early years. now they both prefer to just read on their own. princess brought a library book home that was the night before christmas. wanting to be the good momma, after picking up and having a snack we sat on the couch to read together....but oh no, princess was wriggling all around, mapboy was flinging a pillow around and squaking....i just couldn't take it. so i gave them a long lecture about how they need to show respect when someone is r...

so this could very well have been me and my friends in the mid-80's. oh yeah - we were so cool!!! i love the 80's. mostly because of my memories, but also because they were just good times - with good music, good movies, and pathetic style! but this past weekend we had a party with what we affectionately call the 20 somethings. it is a group from our church that range in age from seniors in high school to about 26. and then there is hubby and i - well beyond those years. we were sitting around the table and somehow music came up. i mentioned my passion for 80's rock ballads. i got quite the look of disdain. i mean who can not like every rose has it's thorn? really? be honest!! bon jovi had some great ballads. don't you all remember slow dancing with your arms straight out on his shoulders and doing that weird shuffle with your feet? that of course led to this great discussion about nothing good coming out of the 80's. i reminded them that leg wa...

so today was a half day for my kiddos! they had received these free wendy's frosty coupons back at halloween and had been patiently waiting for the day we could use them. i told them that i would pick them up today and we would get a frosty and then get a present for their cousin. so they had been waiting all week!! i mean talking about it pretty much non-stop this morning. so i picked them up in the miserable icy cold rain and off we went. i happened to notice just before i left that the coupon listed city locations and did not include our town, but hey - wendy's is wendy's right! so the kids marched in and mapboy placed his coupon on the counter. the guy looked at the card and then at mapboy and said, "sorry, this won't work here!" mapboy just looked at me and then the guy as he started to walk away. now, normally a meltdown would be quick to follow. so we headed outside. the whole time i was thinking we were only getting the frosty because they we...

i was telling a friend yesterday that i have struggled deeply with Christmas this year. she seemed surprised and quite frankly i am as well. hubby brought up the decorations the day after thanksgiving. usually i'm pumped to decorate the house. this year, i just didn't care. i even told him i didn't want my snowmen up. we went to get the tree, and although that is always a favorite, i wasn't really into that either. i was pretty quiet that day - i just tried to chat with God about all that i was feeling...that always gets a little interesting. this time He just let me talk and He listened. you know, i'm just tired. tired of how commercial everything is. i hate the whole holiday theme instead of Christmas. yes, hate is the word. we've always done santa at our house (yes, our kids know what the meaning of Christmas is) and i am so thankful that our kids don't ask for much. in fact on the letters they wrote last night they both asked for batteries...

this is me...the baby that is. i must have been just a few months old when this was taken. you can see my brother sitting next to me. the one holding me...that is my grandma - my dad's mom. we had an interesting relationship to say the least. last weekend i was at my parents house and started digging through a box of pictures. when i found this one i had to have it. for those of you who know me well, you might think it odd. let me tell you about my grandma...and i'll start with what i remember... this grandma lived with us from time to time. when she did, she poured orange juice on her cereal. she ate applesauce on her toast. she ate cold fried chicken (she loved the extra crispy from KFC) and cold corn on the cob. she would set her teeth on the table while she ate. she watched wheel of fortune and jeopardy and she crocheted - LOTS!!!! but i never thought she liked me. she would often tell me i was fat and ugly. and would tell me i needed a spanking. even when i ...

i've been in a bit of a funk lately. not quite myself. there are a lot of reasons that i won't disclose here, but i'm working through them. as thanksgiving approached i really asked God to search my heart. boy, it stinks when He really does, doesn't it? He found all sorts of things to call me on. it was good though - real good. this has been a fall that has probably tugged on my heart the most. i have experienced hurt by others and i have experienced hurt for others. both hurt - just differently. but it is good - real good. it has been somewhat of a lonely season. i've missed the fun of friendships and fun girlfriend days. but it is good. it has been a season of blessings - just needing to look a little further than normal to find them. and they have been good - really quite good. i have had several times in my life where i felt lost and needed direction. times when i would call my dad or seek out friends. this time i guess i need to do it alone. but that's okay...

so i had a request to share a few tips on how i cut my grocery budget... first off...here is my entire 3 week total: 229.28 for food items and 23.09 for toiletry type items...this is more than usual, but i had to buy both of my kids battery powered toothbrushes (that is for another post) and my hubby is particular about his soap and i'm particular about my face lotion...unusual needs for this month....but when you total that i'm about at $85 which is 10 higher than my goal...however according to my grocery list i should be able to do this week for under $50. that would bring me to my actual $75 goal....so all in all i'm doing good... here are my tips... use what you have - pick a week and use up what you have in your freezer and pantry. shop for meat sales and buy only for your week. when using milk in baking use half milk/half water bake snacks drink more water in your house (not bottled...invest in a purifying pitcher and fill it from your tap...then pour it in your g...

last weekend i got to go home! that may sound strange to those of you that know me. i live at my home, in my hometown...so going home shouldn't be all that exciting right? well, this was a different kind of home. the one that just feels right. the place that is hidden so deeply in you that it is safe. it is where you belong.... spring hill is the place that changed my life. it is the place where God chose to speak so clearly to me. it is the place that God gave me a calling for this life. it is the place i saw Him work in such incredible ways. it changed me inside and out. i returned there last weekend with a group of 15 5/6th graders. we had an awesome time and i was so excited when we turned off the interstate. i got this giddy feeling in my stomach. it is like i could audibly hear God say, "welcome home, child!" the camp had changed dramatically since i was last there - over 10 years ago!! i couldn't believe all the buildings that had been built and the upgrades ...

so i was fixing our children their lunch today. mapboy was sitting at the table and started telling me he knew how we could save some energy. he told me we needed tv that plugged in. i kindly told him our tv already does plug in. not what he had in mind.... "no, i mean, you plug it in to this thing that you have to sit and peddle to make it move. kind of like the thing at grandmas house in that one room (an exercise bike)." i kind of chuckled and then told him we would probably all be skinny if that is how tv's worked - he had a good idea. then he said..."and we would probably have a lot less global warming!" at that i lost it.....geesh...he is only 8! so i asked him where he heard of global warming. are you ready for his answer??? "on pbs shows....like fetch and arthur and of course the news!" geesh.....i love that kid:)

so a little while ago i blogged about being inspired, partly out of necessity, and party out of the challenge, to get my grocery budget down! way down!!! so i began the process by researching frugal blogs and gleaning great knowledge. then i cleaned out my freezer and made a list of what i had in it. then i started back into meal plans. and i made meal plans based on what i had in my freezer. then i looked at the flyers to see what things we on too good of sale to pass up. then i made a list. then i stuck to my list! when i say groceries i include all toiletries as well. so i knew i'd been pretty close to my target of $75 each week. i had been spending around $110 or sometimes more each week. this includes breakfast for 4, packed school lunches and hubby and i eating lunch at home and dinner for 4. but as i totaled all my receipts for the past 3 weeks i was shocked!! i mean shocked folks... my grand total for 3 weeks is 160.77 - or an average of about $54 a week!!!!!!...

so it has been a rather interesting week around here. here is a sampling: Sunday: hubby to me: "i think i'm going to keep my distance..." yes, i had woke up with a nasty head/sinus thing. mapboy at supper time: "i don't really want to eat." yes....he was getting sick!!! oh boy!!! princess, mapboy middle of night: "mom! mom! mom!! MOM!!!!!" oh joy:) Monday: mapboy at 5 am "ohhhhhhhhh" yep, he's home for the day!! princess at 7:35 am "mom, when are you going to get me up?" me, "you can get up!" her, "i don't want to" me, "okay" her "i'm up!" princess at 7:50 "when are you taking me to school?" me in my head, "what on earth. she kept me up half the night. why does she want to go to school????" but i took her! mapboy at 8,9,10,1,2... "ohhhhh....." princess at 3:30 - "i don't feel good! my ear, my ear MY EAR!!!!!!" o...

when i was a litle girl my mom made me take baking in 4h. to be honest, i loved it and even won grand champion with my cookies - grand champion folks!!! but she had this white tupperware bowl that we used for our cookies. lots of other things too, but mostly cookies. anyways...that bowl was perfect. it had a wide flat bottom which allowed for the best mixing. it didn't splatter. it was perfect. i loved that bowl. then i get married...and get a set of glass bowls. i use them and find them just okay. i often comment to my mom how much i'd like her bowl. she always tells me she uses it and refuses to hand it over. well, this fall she went to a flea market. yes, friends...there at the same flea market was a perfect tupperware bowl. being the good mom, she bought it. my dad gave it to me with a look that said he didn't get it. but i squealed with delight and hugged it. yes, it is true, ask my hubby! since then i've also received a smaller version from my ...

i have to chuckle when i hear that our economy is taking a dive. now, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of us out there that have lost jobs and are truly struggling, but as an overall picture, we in america don't appear to be diving along with the economy. i had speciality coffee twice this week. hubby and i grabbed lunch at a panera the other day while working. as we sat there i noticed the line as out the door. hmm....i thought we were all broke??? now, hubby left his job in august and we said we were going to cut back. the reality is we really haven't. i think we have maybe eaten out as a family a bit less, but nothing else has really changed in our world of economics. but as i pay our bills, and even though we have had more income than we expected, i realize there is a need for us to cut back - but beyond eating out, i wasn't sure where. with both of us working from home doing without internet doesn't work. we can't cut cable because we don't...

when i was growing up my dad had his own seed company. for some strange reason, my mom, and most times that meant me as well, would travel with him. she would patiently (i usually wasn't so patient) wait in the car while he had meetings. or she would sit in the car and call off seed varieties. or she would walk through the fields with him. i sure thought she was nuts!! but yesterday, hubby mentioned he was going to a nearby town to do some "research" for one of his national register listings today. it is a district, which means several houses and buildings. he quietly asked if i wanted to go. i had a meeting set up and turned him down. this morning i got a call that the meeting needed to be pushed back until tomorrow. realizing that the list of things i had planned for today could be done quickly and then finished tomorrow i offered to go along with hubby. he smiled and said that would be great. so we loaded up and headed out. we had to drive about an hour to...

this saturday morning i woke up feeling a bit nervous and excited. for the past 9 weeks i've trained to run this 5k race. i have never ever run a race. about 3 years ago i did a summer training program where i learned to run for 20 minutes. in that 20 minutes i never even made it to 2 miles. and well, that was 3 summers ago... so i took the challenge....and the day had arrived. i enjoyed my normal cup of coffee and and made an english muffin with peanut butter. then my friend arrived and we were off. it was a chilly morning, but sunny. the place was busy and there were a lot of people i knew there. the excitement was definitely in the air. we signed in and pinned our numbers on. we stretched a little. we talked a little. we waited. we grinned. we lined up. we positioned ourselves near the back, just in front of the walkers. we had timed ourselves on thursday so i could tell if we were running a good pace or not. they yelled go and we were off....we giggled with...

the pumpkins are finally carved.... now for the really good part!! a night of trick or treating!!!!!! Can you guess what they are???????????

last night was a typical thursday night around here. okay, not really. it started with the dishwasher. most of you know i like dishwashers, but the one we have doesn't dispense soap. i guess that makes it kinda worthless. i've complained, yes i admit it, that if i can't use it i'd rather put a cabinet in. hubby said that would cost more than a new dishwasher. but we have never bought one because of choosing to spend our money elsewhere. frankly, i can always wash dishes. well, my parents are gutting their kitchen and offered us theirs!! woo hoo!!! so everyone said this was simple. hmmm..nothing is ever simple inside our back door. the dishwasher was attached to our countertop. but good thing - we had a new counter top put in last week. that girl should slide right out!! nope....they built the floor up over the bottom. so it still sits in it's spot and my working one sits in our barn. oh well...fix dinner and move on! dinner fixed, homework done, now on to pumpkin ca...

so i am 2 days away from the big race! oh yeah! this morning my friend and i met up to run the course. i made one boo-boo on the map, but it was equal distance...no biggy! and we finished. we managed to fight the cold, the urge to quit, and the lack of breathing and finished. faster than we thought! woo hoo!!!! so now i rest. i will not run again tomorrow. and then it will be saturday morning. the race! did anyone out there decide to give it a try? i'm quite impressed with the plan i used. it definitely got me to where i needed to be - even when i doubted it. some have asked if i like running now. hmm...not sure. i loved it when i was at the 2 mile point. i could do that in about 20 minutes and it felt good. but when i had to go beyond that, i can't say it felt nearly as good! the fact that i can now even run for 30 minutes amazes me. it does boost my mood, it does relieve stress, and there is a sense of accomplishment. my goal after the race is to run 2 miles twice a week. i p...

i can't seem to find her. i know she was here - even just a few days ago. but now she's gone. it bothers me really. i miss her. she was so fun and happy and crazy and pleasant. hmm.... i'm thinking i'll go look for her at starbucks tomorrow. i know she likes to hang out there! if i'm lucky i'll find her. i am sure it is just a temporary thing. i know she'll come back, but i'm sad without her. if you see her - tell her i'm looking for her!!

this was us almost 10 years ago! it was the most perfect late fall day. nearly 70 and sunny, and the beginning of the best journey of my life! this friday, hubby and i celebrate 10 incredible years of marriage. there are days that i'm sure we both wanted to walk away from it all, but we didn't and hear we stand today, crazy in love. a love that is deeper than i ever dreamed. a love that makes me whole. a love that is meant only for us. in today's world, not many couples make it to 10 years. sad, isn't it? i was thinking about this the other day and thanked God for giving me a hubby that is patient and kind with me. that loves me everytime i ask him if i'm fat. that loves me even when the house is a mess. that loves me when i'm falling apart emotionally. that loves me when i am just sitting next to him. so in honor of our 10th....i have the top 10 reasons why our marriage is so good. 1. HUMOR - he laughs at me and i laugh at him and we laugh at our ...

i once took great pride in the fact that i could do laundry once a week. and i could do it in 3 loads. minus my sheets which frankly is whole different post. but, lately, the loads have doubled. it seemed like a never ending pile last night as i sorted and got the first load started. i couldn't even get all the darks in one load. what??? this is insane!! how on earth does a family of 4 produce so much laundry??

so...life is always full of suprises, right? now, i want you all to know before i start...that this may sound like a rant, but to be honest i'm ranting while laughing because mostly i'm finding it all quite comical! let's begin with mapboy - remember his great distress when the tooth fairy forgot him? well, good thing she remembered the next night, last minute, but remembered! but for whatever reason the beginning of this week has found mapboy on sensory overload or maybe underload. i can't tell the difference! but he would prefer to be disciplined than to speak in anything other than moans or barks. yes, he thinks he is a dog - and he is 8!! goodness....i'm thankful for an incredible teacher! then there's princess...who for whatever reason is now on a new phobia. i'm not good with what is what but she has the one where she is always sick with something. so while laughing with her teacher about it today we said that one day she is going to throw up ...

do you remember that game show? the one where 3 people all posed as the same person and a panel of celebrities asked them questions and then guessed which one was real? i didn't watch it often, but i was never very good. anyways...lately, or for about the past 4-6 months, i've been on a quest to see who the real Jesus is. call me postmodern, or just call me crazy, but i can't help but think that in the grand scheme of things we are so busy doing church that we are clueless about who Jesus really was and what he would like in our world today. i've done a little questioning of God in my prayer life...begging Him to show me Jesus. the real Jesus. not the one i want Him to be. then i read the shack and oh my....rocked my world! awesome book and i highly recommend it! i don't think i get who Jesus truly was. i've had some of the best spiritual growth in the past year, but an awful lot of "tribulation." i believe Jesus promises us those tribulations...

my saturday morning started at 6:45 when i was greeted bedside by mapboy. he held in his hand a baggy and said, "mom, the tooth fairy forgot me! she didn't take my tooth or leave me anything!" can i just say....oops!!

*this picture really has nothing to do with this post, except that is one of the loves in my life and from my favorite season.... i can't believe i haven't been here since friday! where on earth did the week go? let's see...monday i babysat in the morning and then i can't remember. worked i'm sure. tuesday...meetings at church and then work there and then....family fun game night. wednesday...field trip, errands for youth group, coffee with niece, dinner, youth group, hubby on hog hunt so kids to bed late... thursday..more meetings at church, garage sale, out with good friend for food friday....garage sale - now finishing work for the week! whew...what a week! i was not made to run around! thought i was, but i'm not. oh well...like all good things i'll adjust. you know..sometimes i've decided life is just weird. you never know what each day will bring it's way. now next week is quickly filling up, but hey, it's all good! i'm in love with my ...

i love this man......i just have to start with that! anyways...this incredible hubby of mine turns 40 in a few weeks. i asked him a few weeks ago what he wanted to do for his birthday. his mom was wanting to have something and i was trying to come up with something too. his reply, "gee, i kinda thought you would plan a party and surprise me!" well....okay then! (i have to say i heard this repeatedly!) now there is only a few small problems with this. his october calendar is crazy, he is home with me during the day, and surprising him is never easy. last spring we discovered a great celtic rock band in michigan. he said that night that he wanted to bring them to town and rent a place and have a big old party for his birthday! well, then he quit his job and not that we could afford a band before but we definitely couldn't afford it now. so i did some research and saw that this band was playing in south bend on friday night. being very thankful that we atleast hav...

really, i'm sure you do. but i actually ran a full 2 miles for the first time ever in my life. and i did it in under 20 minutes! woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yesterday, like i had said, i met dear friend for coffee. this turned into a let's go resale shopping together. there is a new place in town we decided to check out. next door is another new place in town. we meandered and were just about to leave when the shop owner made an appearance. she started talking and we kept moving closer to the door. not wanting to be rude, i'm sure, we both commented on her tea assortment. i believe it was the skinny tea that caught friends attention. after a long explanation on that i, for whatever reason, asked about tea for high blood pressure. well, goodness gracious did the flood gates open!! she had tea for everything she said. tea cures all sorts of things. fibromalgia, hbp, cholestoral, weight, hormones, etc....friend makes a sly comment to me about the lady really being a picture of health. do you hear the sarcasm???? it is a little hard to promote tea as the healthy drink when...well, i'm sure you get my drift! so anyways..the owner...

i started my laundry last night. i washed and first load and put it in the dryer. i folded that load and went to put in load number 2. there i realized that i had not thoroughly inspected hubby's pockets where a pack of gum was hiding. the sticks were now unwrapped and clinging to the walls of my washer. hmm...frustrated. i gently reminded hubby how much i would appreciate him checking his pockets. so i stuck the load in the dryer and then cleaned the washing machine out and stuck in load #3! as i was getting ready for bed i heard that load 2 was done in the dryer...but SURPRISE!! a few stray gum sticks were also in the dryer! oh yeah...and stuck all over the dryer and the clothes! oh joy! so by now i was aggravated to say the least. hubby knew it and offered to clean the dryer in the morning. so fast forward to this morning. i met dear friend at starbucks. my mom showed up as well. she was buying bug spray which for some odd reason reminded me of my dryer dilema and the messy laun...

last night was the only night this week that we were all home as a family. i can tell that the in and out of mom and dad lately has had an effect on my kiddos. so we were all looking forward to a quiet evening here at home. well, i'm not sure it was quiet but we were all around. first, i got home late after school because i was stuck at wal-mart. can i tell you how irritated i am that they have 50 check out lanes and only keep about 5 open. i had produce so i couldn't self-check, which frankly those lines looked just as bad. i digress... so i got supper started. thursday night is soup night around here. hubby requested white chicken chili. i don't like beans so i make mine without. while i was sauteeing the onions i knew i needed to be cutting the chicken up, but i also had dough ready to be made into breadsticks. i was a bit insane in the kitchen...but managed to get it all going. then i sampled the soup and quickly realized it was hot - way too hot for my kid...

about a year ago my SIL told me she had heard that when your child has a bad cough and coughs at night that you should rub vix on the bottom of their feet and put socks on. have them sleep this way. weird huh? that's what i thought. but she had tried it on her son and it worked. a few weeks ago, princess had a cough. it tends to keep her up at night. i've always done vix on her chest only to have reapply again in the middle of the night. so this time i decided to try the foot thing! i gotta tell you...it worked!! she slept like a baby all night. i don't know what it is...but try it next time one of your young ones has a bad cough. it made princess happy and mommy happy too!!!

so in an effort to keep trying to find ways to cut our budget i've decided i need to let my hair grow out. this has been quite an ordeal for me. i've never really had a hair style. i just had the shoulder length layer thing going on. but my sweet sis-in-law talked me into trying a cute style and frankly i love it! easy to do, and trendy and fun. but it requires a hair cut every 5-6 weeks. well, that adds up pretty fast. i use to go every 3-4 months. so i've decided that is one way i can help cut our budget. but, how one earth do i grow this out without looking incredibly weird. i have it shorter in back and angled to my face. once the bottom back startst to grow out it flips out - no matter what i do to it...argh....i just feel frumpy and weird. then i realized that it reveals my heart. it reveals to me how much i do care what others think of me. that i want to look pretty. that i don't want people to give me odd looks. i've also decided that i don...

so this is week 4 of my training. i was all psyched up for it this morning. woo hoo!! so this week my run looks like this: 5 minute walk, jog 1/4 mile, walk 1/8 mile, jog 1/2 mile, walk 1/4 mile, jog 1/4 mile, walk 1/8 mile, jog 1/2 mile! oh yeah!! i did it! they also put times next to each mile amount with how fast to run/walk those distances in. i managed to bring my runs in under time, but ran the full amount of time just because i know this is only 1/2 miles and i have to run over 3 by the end. i feel really good when i'm out there. i feel a sense of accomplishment. ironically, i've gained a lot of weight. but i don't eat anymore. oh well...such is life! so are any of you out there taking the challenge on??????

my mom forced me to take piano lessons. for the most part i liked them, but in late jr. high couldn't stand them anymore. i wanted to play and sing - not just learn the classic stuff. she agreed to let me quit. i continued, however, to play through out the years. i love it! i love to sit and play and sing to my hearts content. i usually do it when alone, but the kids enjoy it too. unfortunately i had not bought a book since my freshman year of college. even that was only sheet music to the old song "the rose" (which i love to play and sing) anyways....i have been craving a good worship book. one that i could sit down and play and sing and worship my creator. a few weeks ago i needed to go to the family christian book store looking for curriculum. i decided to just browse their piano music. well...although i should have gone for the more challenging book, they had a medium level worship book that had several songs i love. so i bought it! and i have to say i...

so tonight i was tucking my sweet little guy in to bed...i was tickling him and he was giggling...then all of a sudden he looked at me with his sweet eyes and said, "mom, are you growing a mustache?" oh yeah...i'm feeling pretty good right now!!!