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a forgotten camera...

we headed off with princess this weekend to a wedding in ohio. it wasn't actually planned to take her, but we had a great time with her. the wedding was beautiful and worth the trip. i'm sure princess would say the pool was worth her trip.

for me, the icing on the cake was a stop by my alma mater, cedarville. i had not been back since it gained university status. i had not been back since christmas of 98. as we approached the small little town, memories flooded my mind. there were so many great ones. in fact, as we were standing by the old chuck's my mom asked me if i would do it all over again and i quickly said, "oh yeah!" no offense hubby, i want to marry you all over again, too!!

anyways...as i stepped out of the car and felt that familiar weird cedarville wind, i was reminded of sneaking back in late to willetts. my roomie and i had the perfect room for that! i saw the old house i lived in my senior year. the dumpster was still in the same spot - we once took campus police to court and it involved that dumpster. they had removed the metal rusted fire escape and built a covererd wooden staircase. i don't get it.

i was reminded of playing ultimate frisbee in the grass between the old chapel and library. it is now a building. i laughed at remembering dr. dixon's dandelion speech and strict policy on NOT being in the grass, ever, anywhere, unless a dandelion was around. well, dr. brown, must feel differently because there were picnic tables in the grass. wowzers!!

then there was the place i once played tennis. although that changed during my 4 years, it was still a vivid memory. as the wind blew across the lake i remember feeling so prepared for the ball to catch the wind and land somewhere totally unexpected.

the rock has been moved, but i immedietly thought of those late night "brock to the rock and back" i couldn't help but wonder if the rock might have been moved just to make that run a little shorter.

bethel was gone...i don't understand why?

the chapel was no longer white brick?

the lake had a new shape, 2 fountains and landscape around it?

there was sculpture all over the place and it was cool.

the hive was cool - why did we not have it so good????

it was quiet on campus. nothing happening. just the quiet, but i could hear all the sounds. i could smell wednesday night at chucks. i could see the canoe races. i could see the place where there was once yellow roses spray painted in the snow. that was way too weird for me. i saw the computer stations and actually remembered my email address!!! i also remember my roomie and i spending way too much time chatting with air force academy guys on that bbs thing!

as we left campus and headed north i remembered how many times i drove that rode to go to the resevoir to catch some sun, or to wittenburg to watch movies in the chem lab, or to huber heights to watch a real movie with all the other kids hiding out there. or to the malls, or to home, or to meijer, or wherever.....i thanked hubby several times for that indulgence!

i've reflected in my mind most of the day. would i really do it all over again? i learned so much on that campus. i learned that there is a time for being responsible and there is a time to live with abandoment. i learned there is pain and there is joy. i learned true friendship. i learned what love was supposed to be. i learned i had so much to learn. i learned when to show up to class. i learned i wasn't stupid like the enlish prof said - i got a 4.0 next semester. i learned what i believe in and what i don't. i learned how to use the iron for things that really matter. i learned my parents still had a life when i left. i learned to be who i am today. amazing what 4 years will teach you huh??

i'd go back. i'd probably even do some of the things i regret all over again, because those regrets have shaped me. maybe i need to live in some of that same abandonment all over again.

Comments

Holly Tried It said…
I would definitely skip more classes if I went back! Especially, spring semester of my junior. Those skipped classes were always spent with Bryan. And, I would double-major instead of graduating early.

Hmmm...do those two things sound like a contradiction?
Kori said…
thanks for this post! brought back so many memories! Just reconnected with Hassie yesterday on facebook! How fun!!

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