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enough is enough


this morning i woke up and well, i know i was tired, but i felt pretty happy. i got the kiddos up and we headed off to school. as i was driving home something inside me just switched and i was mad. i started telling God my "hate list"...
...i hate that what is rightfully ours is gone
...i hate that that person will never have to suffer those consequences of stealing
...i hate that we are broke
...i hate that i feel dizzy
...i hate that our car is broke
...i hate that we are always cheated out of something
and on and on and on it went.

i just cried and by the time i had pulled back in the drive way i shouted

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, GOD!!!"

after this amazing one-sided conversation i gave him a chance to respond. i am kind like that. and you know what He said? are you ready for this??

"You are so right!"

well, thank you very much, God! I know I'm right.....

my hubby came home and seemed to notice my "righteous frustration" and i didn't say much back. but i also knew that God had led me on a spiritual journey that i wasn't finished with yet, so i picked up where i left off last week - psalm 7 from the message. i start in and notice that david is telling God that if he, david, really did the things he is being accused of that he is willing to take the punishment, then he asks God, "to get us ready for life" he explains that as God probing our soft spots and knocking off our rough edges. umm...i guess the conversation is getting a little one sided the other way?! david closes the psalm by saying that he is "THANKING GOD, WHO MAKES ALL THINGS RIGHT"

hmm.....i'm listening

so then i pick up where i left off in one thousand gifts by ann voskamp. (as a side note - this is a must read!) this book has moved something deep inside my soul as ann opens her heart and His Word on gratitude. the subtitle is: a dare to live fully right where you are. and today i need to live fully right where i am so i continue on. as i read God starts to bring up my hate list. he gently nudges me to the gratitude list i recently started. i kindly remind him just because i can find things to be thankful for doesn't mean i can't find things to complain about. i wish i could remember to stop arguing back with Him. so i start reading on page 85. here ann asks if i "believe in a God who rouses Himself just and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity?" she is wrestling with the same thing in this chapter...if she captures the moments of gratitude what are the other ones? God then gently brought to my mind the israelites wandering around the wilderness and how they complained about God's provision of manna. so a few pages later, on page 89 ann recalls hearing God ask her "'Can you eat My manna, sustain on My mystery?''"
okay at this point i'm thinking i have had enough - remember enough is enough God?
there is so much more that struck me in what i was reading....but what really struck me was God's answer, now an hour earlier, that enough really is enough.

you see it was the reference to the manna that clicked with me. those israelites had witnessed more miracles than what i ever have. yet, they were constantly whining about things. God must have been quite annoyed with them. He provided them with manna and they were told to only pick up enough for each day. did you catch that? enough for each day?

So that whole question from God "Can you eat My manna?" well, let's just say, i think he was asking me that as well this morning.

His manna is ENOUGH
His grace is ENOUGH
His forgivenss is ENOUGH
His portion assigned to me is ENOUGH
our pantry is filled with ENOUGH
our checkbook has ENOUGH
HIS LOVE is ENOUGH
for TODAY!

so i spent the rest of my morning in awe of Him. in awe of the truth in my whiny statement. i went back to the end of psalm 7. am i praising God, the One Who makes all things right? the One who gives us our enough? the ONE who is our ENOUGH?

42. conversations of the heart
43. the smile of my child
44. the gift of morning chatter
45. the sun rising
46. a tumbling dryer
47. enough is enough
48. the abundance of His manna

Comments

shannon said…
what was taken from you? did i miss something? anyway. good post. in agreement with you. in times when i've been cheated or neglected or not given proper recognition i've clung to the psalms and stood in aggreement with them. the ways of the righteous will prosper and integrity ALWAYS shines through. no matter what the situation {and no matter the duration... sometimes years have gone by but..} God always shines through. Good perservers over wickedness. The Lord honors the righteous ways of the man who walks in integrity. Thankfully its by Jesus' blood I get to claim that title of righteous. We're in the same boat over here getting "kicked" out of our home with only 7 months left here in the army and a whole slew of unfortunate circumstances. He's enough. He's done a whole lot more with a whole lot less. :D
March 3, 2011 at 6:04 PM
TWitmer said…
OK...so I needed it. Didn't like hearing it anymore than you probably did...He is ENOUGH for me today...now remind me of that again tomorrow, would you? :) Love you. Thanks for posting.
March 3, 2011 at 6:31 PM
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