it has been a few weeks since my grandma passed away, but my heart and mind have been busy processing it ever since. as prepared as i was to lose her, i was not prepared for the emotions that would come along with losing my last grandparent and for the challenge left to carry on her legacy.
this amazing group is my cousins. all of us....the last time we have all been together. we were at my grandpa's funeral last summer and wanted to be sure to capture this picture with my grandma. i remember looking at this picture later and noticing how odd it was to not have grandpa sitting next to her. they were always together - and i mean ALWAYS!as we gathered for the funeral and friends and family shared, i was struck by the amazing legacy this couple left, and most importantly my grandma. she raised 5 kids as the wife of a farmer. my mom talks about killing the chicken in the morning that they would eat for dinner that night. she talks about how the neighbor kids would show up, and they were always welcome to stay for dinner. there would be nothing left from that poor chicken.
grandma loved grandpa with everything she had. i would often spend a week with them at their house in town. they would chatter back and forth and you could pretty much guarantee that grandpa would say something to which she would reply, "now mark." i can still here that. grandma would fix amazing holiday meals - well noodles anyway, they always had the perfect christmas presents, and they always made everyone feel important and welcome.
grandma had a lot of sisters. i never get the count right but there were a lot of them. as a young girl, i remember never getting their names right, but they always knew my name. that group of sisters were close and i honestly believe they saw each of us as their own "grandkids." i know this was true of my grandma. she would tell me stories about her great nephews and nieces and who was doing what and i would still be trying to figure out the relationship! but she cared for each and every one. the last sister sat in front of us at the funeral, next to her granddaughter. i remember thinking it so special that this cousin of mine came to my grandma's funeral...and why? because my grandma had left a mark on her too. like i said - that was just one big family.
grandma was a supportive wife that never really left grandpa's side. they often had a different version of the stories, but she always just smiled at him. they held hands all the time. they loved their church and the people in it. i think they gave to and helped more people than what most of us even know today. generosity was just a part of them.
as i sat and listened and looked around, i realized that i had been left a legacy and needed to choose what to do with that. you see, my grandma is someone that loved deeply. am i? she served her husband. do i? she loved her kids and taught them well. do i? her love knew no end. does mine?
my dad had called the day before she died. it had been about 4 months since i had last seen her. she looked like my grandma then, and being the baby of the family she knew who i was. when my dad called i hung up and started to walk to my husband. i was just about to tell him to drop what he was doing, i wanted to go see my grandma. but then a part of me didn't. i wanted to hold on to my last images of grandma as whole and alert. maybe that was wrong, but it felt right. it was her time. she had lived an amazing long and full life.
i hope that when people remember me they see a bit of my grandma: patient, kind, loving, dedicated, faithful and full of spirit. my grandma is in heaven now, side by side with my grandpa. sometimes i giggle because i imagine him telling someone a story and her patting his leg and saying, "now mark!"
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Aunt Pat