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struggles

if you have been reading for awhile you may remember a post i had on my great dilema. i was stuck in a place that i couldn't reconcile. well, i had prayed and done the biblical thing and come to the place of peace over the situation - until this weekend.

so what do i do again??? this time, i don't know that i can reconcile. a dear friend keeps telling me to read the book total forgivness. i know she means well, but i'm tired of hearing it. this latest event will require forgiveness, but come on - don't we still pay consequences? i am a firm believer in extending grace and forgiveness, but i also believe we are accountable to our sin.

once again i have the dilema. the position i am in makes some things complicated. i'm trusting God with this one. i have full confidence that while this is going to get messy, that God actually wants that. hubby and i were stealing a moment on our porch swing last night (well, actually i interupted his bird hunt) and he mentioned that while we were seeking revival this fall God was seeing through us. (the "us" here is collective) He was looking at us and saying, "i can't use these people until i purge this people! " ouch - yet, oh God, bring it on!! i don't like conflict or ugliness, but this time around i want honesty and purging. i want God to break our hearts of pride and sin and draw us to him humbly.

i want to look back and say this is good. and i believe i will.

Comments

The Gang's Momma! said…
Wow. This is so good. Again, kudos to the way you write your thoughts and feelings so beautifully.

I see your hubby's point - we can't be revived and used to spark other revivals till we allow ourselves to be refined. It goes hand in hand. But I am with you on the natural order of things - that sin has consequences.

I desire to offer forgiveness, I know that forgiveness brings reconciliation and opens the door for healing. Further, I desire to get to a place that forgiveness flows far more naturally than it does now in my life.

But what do you do when it's yourself that you must forgive?! Or, as in your situation, (if I'm reading this correctly?!) when the forgiveness is extended over and over for the same thing? Hard questions - hard example to follow.

Thanks for the very good food for thought. I'm working thru a forgiveness thing myself - good to hear others' experiences.
May 21, 2008 at 2:58 PM
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