new year. new decade. new word. i started the habit of choosing a word almost exactly a decade ago. each year the word has evolved and helped shape the year. well, this year is quite likely the exception. or at least i thought it was. my usual yearly reflection takes me on a journey through the year where the word has evolved into something entirely different than the road i envisioned. and usually i am in awe of how God used that word. this year was strange. looking back on the goals i set, i see failure, not awe. now before you go and tell me i am not a failure, i did fail at the goals i set. truly. goal 1: grow and develop in a healthy way. nope. ending the year with extra instead of less. attempted, yet didn't follow through on many health plans. goal 2: grow spiritually through meditation, scripture reading, and community. nope. ending the year with little reading and loss of church community that grieves me deeply. late fall i started pondering thes