i have this weird mix of emotions when it comes to celebrating me. i don't particularly love to be celebrated publicly, but on my birthday and mother's day i can't be celebrated enough. i know. it's strange. and probably wrong. but it is what it is. as we turned the page to 2020 i set a few intentions. my word for the year is reset and there were areas i new needed a fresh start. as i prayed through those God made it clear i needed to learn to process and deal with disappointment. i have experienced a lot of that, and for some reason, when i'm disappointed it sinks deep into my roots where i begin to believe i'm the sole cause. i'm the sole reason. i alone am to blame. so i've been trying to grapple through those disappointments; trying to name them, confess them and process them for what they are and not just see them as a reflection of me. a certain area of disappointment had created this long list of things i believed to be true of me.