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a word for the year

at the end of 2008 i started noticing this thing called a word for the year. several blogs i follow were picking a word to focus on in 2009. the idea intrigued me. as we are moving into 2010, i'm finding myself reflecting on one word - so i'm claiming it. it will be my word of the year:

CHANGE
for many of us that is a scary word. we like things to stay the same. i use to thrive on constant change, then i despised it, now i welcome it. and yes, i typed my first paper on a maching similar to this one!
so why change? and why for 2010? well, simple, our little life is clearly changing. sometime in the first 2 months of 2010 i will move to a farm! that is crazy.....crazy, folks! i mean crazy! but i can't wait. i'm so excited for this change in my life and the change it means for my little family.
change also comes in my working world. hopefully, a new pastor will be arriving shortly after 2010 begins. i trust that will bring change as well. a good change. one that is exciting and one i anticipate being amazing. i look forward to being challenged spiritually, emotionally, and as a leader. i anticipate this change drawing me closer to God and emptying me of more of myself. this change also brings the potential in new friendships, and that makes me smile too.
one of the biggest aspects of change i anticipate might look a little ugly. while this one brings me great anticipation, it brings me great anxiety as well. a few of you know that i struggle with mapboy. i love him deeply, but we are in the midst of a constant struggle with attitude, kindness, obedience, etc. for the past several months my prayers have been, "God, please get my son's heart! please change his perspective and attitude." well, over the past few weeks i've struggled with that prayer. slowly (because i'm a slow learner), God has opened my eyes and turned them back onto me. yuck! so now, i want God to change me. i'm asking God to change my perception of my son. to change my attitude towards the issues. to change my heart. i am pretty sure that as that happens the ugliness of myself will be revealed, but i desperately long for God to change me.
today i had coffee with one of my dearest friends from out of town. i was sharing this thought with her. she stated her own struggle with her son of the same age. she said it best, "i so badly want the joy of it all." that is my desire too. for God to change my heart that it is filled with such intense joy for, and in, my son. and not just that - but in being the one that God created me to be. lover, mom, and friend.
so this year, unlike many others, i am going to embrace change. i'm going to ask for change and more than likely will end up with more change than i bargained for! but well, change really can be a very good thing....

Comments

Natalie said…
I'm going to have a piece of chocolate too! I'm stressed just reading about your day.
January 8, 2010 at 7:46 PM
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