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nothing but a memory...

i truly believe that God is really stirring my heart these days. it is one of those times where conviction has set in, but along with it has come such a desire. a definite stirring of God. let me back up, although, if i'm honest, it is a rather circular thread God has been weaving.



a few years ago, God introduced me to a young woman. she had some interesting insights into "motherhood" and at times i thought she might be a bit cuckoo! i mean, my ideals were the right ones, right? well, i spent some time with this friend, and while i didn't agree with everything and knew not everything would have worked for me, i came to a much deeper appreciation for her opinions on motherhood. for her desire to be with her kids. i mean truly be with her kids. it actually opened my eyes a little. or maybe God just used her to start this brewing in my heart.



about a year ago i started reading some fun blogs. at first i was reading blogs that made me feel like a failure. how on earth could these mom's be so amazing at absolutely everything? so i stopped reading some of them and started reading a few new ones. ironically, i started to envy these blog world mom's. they seemed to be living this life that i had always dreamed of having. hmm......was i supposed to have that kind of life?



circle around to a few weeks ago when i felt like i was in meltdown mode. granted life got a bit crazy around here this winter, but all of a sudden, everything seemed to be falling apart - starting with me! one night i had been pushed over the edge and kinda let loose on hubby. i'm not sure he really saw it coming.



well, that little melt down just allowed God to continue to stir my heart. i spent some time telling him all my problems. funny, He just kinda listened while He stirred.



okay, now go back on the circle to about a month ago....hubby and i were heading to southern indiana when this song came on the radio. i had never heard it, but he had. miranda lambert sings about the house that built her. he had me listen to it and it moved me. deeply moved me. but i kinda set it aside..



circle around again....last week i was at a conference on children's minsitry, yet got so convicted about the family priority. all that stirring that God had been doing finally made sense. you see, what i was reading in blogging world had to do with missional mothering. what my friend from a few years ago was doing was really missional mothering. then, a seminar talks about the same concept, different terms. and my meltdown - really because of a lack of mission in our home that led to some utter chaos for a few months!



so, after confession time to hubby, setting some personal goals, and striving to truly be with my kiddos i'm already seeing this stirring leading to something big. one of those personal goals was to turn the radio off in the car. you see, i can easily drown my kids out and sing along. but the other afternoon, mapboy requested the radio turned on. immedietly this song came on. talk about hitting me. the lyrics are really quite simple, profound, and beautiful! it is all about going back to your childhood home and remembering, because while we often think we built the house, it is really the house that built us. it is the house that shapes us.



then it struck me....this simplicity is really what i want. i want to create a home that shapes my kids. a home that shapes them into exactly what God gifted them to be. i desire for them to have amazing memories of where they learned things, where they cried, where they laughed, where they played.



i don't know...none of this may mean anything to you....but stop and listen. watch the video....i don't know how you can't help but be moved. and just maybe, God will begin a stirring in your heart, too! (remember to scroll down and pause the playlist!)

Comments

Daisy Path said…
that is a gorgeous song with an incredible meaning. it is so true. thank you for sharing it. thank you for being open and honest too. i think that is what so many of us crave for our families and it helps so much to know we are not alone on this journey of parenthood! praying for you, friend.

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