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the wonder of it all

i was telling a friend yesterday that i have struggled deeply with Christmas this year. she seemed surprised and quite frankly i am as well. hubby brought up the decorations the day after thanksgiving. usually i'm pumped to decorate the house. this year, i just didn't care. i even told him i didn't want my snowmen up. we went to get the tree, and although that is always a favorite, i wasn't really into that either. i was pretty quiet that day - i just tried to chat with God about all that i was feeling...that always gets a little interesting. this time He just let me talk and He listened.

you know, i'm just tired. tired of how commercial everything is. i hate the whole holiday theme instead of Christmas. yes, hate is the word. we've always done santa at our house (yes, our kids know what the meaning of Christmas is) and i am so thankful that our kids don't ask for much. in fact on the letters they wrote last night they both asked for batteries!

but i'm tired of all the stuff. we don't go overboard at christmas any year, but for some reason i want this christmas to be even more simple. i can't figure out what exactly i want to do - just less i guess. i want to enjoy the family and celebrate together. i want to sip hot cocoa and make cookies. i want to make presents for people. presents that have thought put in to them. presents that come from my heart.

i really want the kids to dwell on baby Jesus. i want them to think about the angels and the shepherds and the wise men. i want my kids to be as excited as the shepherds were. i want them to be as committed to seeking Christ as the wise men were. i want my kids to see the angels in their lives. i want those things for me.

i am doing our children's worship this month. our virtue is generosity and i really want the kids to understand what it means to give to others. not just a store bought gift, but the gift of time, thoughtfulness, blessings, love, etc...

i so picture a christmas morning where we sit around a simple tree. decorated with ornaments that all have story to share with my kids. a tree that has some simple thoughtful gifts wrapped in simple paper. gifts that warm our hearts. a time to just sit and cuddle and share our lives.

i have cookie dough ready to be cut out and decorated. a fun tradition in our house. and a few other items i want to bake to share with others. we are finishing our christmas cards - which we always make.

oh to just savor Christ. i'm failing at this, but i know my soul is crying out for it. it is telling me to slow down and rest in Him. He is calling me to the stable. the place of beginnings. the place of hope. the place where He dwells.

i long to settle in the stable this season. oh to just take in the wonder of it all....

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